Modern parenting, are we doing it wrong?
The other night my wife and I took our daughter out for dinner. We had just finished spending the day together doing various activities including spending a couple hours at a local play center of bouncy castles. Our daughter is only 2 1/2 years old and sometimes gets restless when we are waiting for our food.
This particular evening the service was running extra slow, having been waiting for 20mins already we decided to setup our old iPad for our little girl to watch one of her movies on. She sat quietly watching as my wife and I chatted about the day and how much fun we had together as a family. We converse for another 15 or so minutes including our daughter in the conversation here and there but for the most part she was focused on her show and happily distracted.
It was around this time that an elderly couple had finished their meal and had gotten up to leave. I didn't pay much notice to them as they walked past to be honest I didn't even see their faces. However just as the older woman had walked behind me and was closer to the exit she yells out to us "Next time try a book instead of a screen!" Shocked my wife and I kind of sat there looking at each other for a moment as we tried to process what had just happened. Clearly, she was talking to us as there was nobody else around with another tablet device. I sat there trying to make sense of the situation as if it couldn't have actually happened.
Then the rage set in. This woman doesn't know me or my kid! Who is she to pass such judgment? I began brewing the things I wanted to say to her and thought about confronting her in the parking lot outside. By the time it all sunk in they were gone. What was supposed to be a nice family outing ruined. Embarrassed and feeling shamed we quietly finished our meal and headed home.
A couple days later my wife was invited to a playdate with a mutual friend and her child. It was then my wife told her of our parent shaming happening. The friend agreed that it was rude of the woman to express her opinion in such a manner but stated that she was in total support for anti-screens with children.
I do not understand the anti-screen thing. I do not believe that it is screens that ruin a child's up-bringing but poor parenting. What the old woman did not know is that we read to our daughter everyday sometimes 3-4 books at night before bed. Our little girl can recite her favorite books word for word. She can count to 10, knows her alphabet and is very articulate. Most of what she has learned has been from us as parents dedicating the time to teaching her, but some has also been from the regulated screen time she has been exposed to. Her movies have helped teach her new words and sentence structure. Lots of her favorite songs she sings come from her shows. Her creativity and growing imagination spans from movies and children shows. I am not saying that screens are the be all and end all, but rather a tool to use in moderation. It allows us some time to get what we need to get done while keeping her safely occupied.
Many times, she has willing chosen to look at books or play with her toys over watching a movie, and of course we encourage this but when all else fails sometimes she just wants to be a kid and watch something fun and unwind. I mean don't we all?
I'm curious if anyone else has had a similar experience and if so what’s your thoughts on this?
There is a reason tech CEO's refuse to put their products into the hands of their very own children. I won't speculate or muse upon why, because I can't come up with any rational reasons, but there are many people in tech shelter their kids from the things they create.
https://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fashion/steve-jobs-apple-was-a-low-tech-parent.html
The American Academy of Pediatricians, for many decades recommened NO tv before age 4, and 20 mins or less until around age 8.
They have recently changed their guidelines.
https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/american-academy-of-pediatrics-announces-new-recommendations-for-childrens-media-use.aspx
There is a wealth of information out there that indicates giving children tech is a terrible idea, and using unsecured tech as adults is almost just as bad.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/leemathews/2017/07/18/fbi-warns-parents-about-the-dangers-of-connected-smart-toys/#6154d3839e6e
Also, this disturbing little piece: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3420182/Hackers-target-baby-monitors-Warning-cybercriminals-spying-children-accessing-devices-networks-transmitting-noises-scare-them.html
It's definitely something one should take a lot of time to do due diligence and research on if you have young children.
And when older generations complain about our generation, try to gently remind them that THEY RAISED US... We didn't raise ourselves to be this way.
Every child is different, and every parent does things differently. My four year old son loves his tablet. He has reading games, and apps that help him build cognition. He also loves his books. I'm by no means anti-screen, it only matters what's on that screen.
We'd love to read more stories like this one, and encourage you to use the #steemdads tag for all your posts about parenting!
Also, you could totally follow @steemparents, and help us support awesome parents like your wife and yourself!
Hi. I am a volunteer bot for @resteembot that upvoted you.
Your post was chosen at random, as part of the advertisment campaign for @resteembot.
@resteembot is meant to help minnows get noticed by re-steeming their posts
To use the bot, one must follow it for at least 3 hours, and then make a transaction where the memo is the url of the post.
If you want to learn more - read the introduction post of @resteembot.
If you want help spread the word - read the advertisment program post.
Steem ON!
Congratulations @jsononrails! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPGood discussion point. I am with you in that it depends on the family. When ours were very young, the only tv they were allowed to watch was PBS kids. And I watched with them, we discussed shows like Sid the Science Kids and the moral lessons in Caiou and Authur. My youngest has severe ADHD, his tablet is sometimes the only way to get him to focus. All of the doctors in the world can put out any "guidelines" they want, but it is up to each parent to decide what is right for their family. Maybe new parents wouldn't be so unsure of themselves if they were constantly being told they were doing it wrong. That woman had no right to shame you about how you raise your children. As I said before, my youngest couldn't sit still to read a book at 4 and 5 years old, but he taught him self to read by sitting next to his brother for a couple of hours every weekend and matching the subtitles on his video games with the words he could hear. Every child is different. That's what makes them so wonderful♥
Congratulations @jsononrails! You have received a personal award!
Click on the badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
Congratulations @jsononrails! You received a personal award!
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!