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Talking to my eighty one year old mother, in defiance of dads constant desire for silence, we established that her tea, specifically, Anne's tea specifically seemed to have something special in it.

She always has a point of view, however hopeful in the face of doom, she has some bomb to drop into the conversation that you never knew coming. She takes a role while making a role and destroys that role before applying any mayonnaise..

Always cheesy, with a sunny disposition, she is not only willing and able, but keen to lower the bar or raise hell and fury to
set straight her autonomy.

Never one to leave you excited to see her in pain, she is enduring two knee replacements and rejecting the recommended hip replacement the doctors have put forward.

She was always a defiantly happy disposition, being a primary teacher, I suppose one learns to look up excitedly at any new face that presents itself.

But now, seeing her at home. And you know how we can be when were not prepared for anything - is a side I'll never forget and its a lesson that I could never have learnt without moving in and caring for them through this crisis.

Now, everyone is trying to stir the pot and shake things up so we can get back to normal, but when you've failing aging parents that you have a chance to make comfortable and complacent in the face of the suffering of aging, I'd place it just under parenthood.

Even now, with one sister with cancer, she is even more positive and hopeful than ever, but I can see how it is taking its toll, and if you were to ask what is it that helped mum so much, for so many years. It'd be dad, with his sometimes grouchy grumpy nihilistic dry sense of humor. It's armed her for anything, and anything else can be hugged out by her family and friends.