A few tips on household chores and kids

I'm no "Super Mom", no I am just an average mom, so I never claim to have all of the right answers on anything. So while I will be giving some parental "advice", I am in no way able to tell you how to raise your children, spouse or yourself, only you can do that. I can only share what did or did not work with me and that's what I am doing today. So my experience may or may not be right for your family...so proceed with caution. LOL

Ok, the insurance clause is down, now we can get to the "real" post. My tips on household chores and kids. First off "yes" my son has been doing chores since he was around 3 years old. "No" he's not scrubbing the floors on his hands and knees with bleach while I sit on the couch with a whistle. I don't know why people look at me like that when I tell them that my son does chores. Strange, huh?

Anyways, he did start at a young age, but he wasn't doing some full blown chore chart with 10 chores on it, mark with stars, get allowance at the end of week type of thing at the beginning. Actually it was only this past two years (he's 7) that he really started doing substantial cleaning in our home.

Because I have had moms and dads constantly ask me how I started this with Caleb and how we have managed to keep it up for four years, I decided that I would just share it. And for you parents of older children, please don't be so quick to click the exit button, these tips are also for you too. All hope is not lost in getting teenagers to help around the house.

So, below are my tips to get the kids to start helping out:

Tip #1
Start very, very, very small. And this goes for kids who are much older and have never had chores, start small with them also. I have seen parents try to start chores with teenagers with charts and allowance and such, and I still tell them the same thing, start very small, like 1 item only small. Caleb's chore of helping me make his bed was his one and only chore for almost a year before moving on to more. Now if you have a child that is older than 3 you could move a little faster, BUT still not at first. I would give it about 4-6 months before moving to more.

Tip #2
Reward should immediately to follow chore completion. Yep, immediately. But, again, just until they are in the routine of doing the chore. BTW rewards do NOT have to be money. It's not bad to give money but it's not required, you could reward in a number of different ways. Caleb would get an M&M or Skittle right after we made his bed...he was 3 years old, a skittle is like gold to a 3 year old. And we did this for many months until he caught on to doing the chore. And the reward doesn't even have to be a physical item either. Most people forget how far a genuine compliment of "I'm proud of you, good job" can go for the child. Most kids want their parents to be proud of them, and we must show it and say it. Be excited for their little accomplishment. It's much more than they were doing, right? So reward, praise, shower them with compliments.

Idea: If you have teenagers, it would be helpful if you had a "for hire" chart with a dollar amount or an object that they want, written on a card or paper and when they complete the job you give them whatever it may be. I have seen some moms attach dollar bills to items such as "sweep the floor", "clean the toilet", etc. And when the child did the chore, they received the money. I can't find a link to this mom's website, but below is the Pintrest spot where I found it and the photo she posted. I thought this was a fantastic idea for the older kiddos and teenagers.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/193373377728414751/

Tip #3
Now, continue the verbal praising, but after a few months of them doing their chore, you could start out small with a chart and track their progress so they may earn a bigger reward. It doesn't have to be huge either, Caleb loved getting a balloon as a "large" reward. But again, slowly....only go a few days to start out with and let them see their progress chart and how close they are to receiving their reward. This visual reminder that they only have two more times to make their bed is nice little motivation for kids. With Caleb we started out with three days of making his bed before his little bit bigger reward and then eventually moved to four and so on. Caleb actually does his chores for an entire month before getting his allowance. Of course he gets four weeks worth of money at one time, but that allows him to really think about what he wants with his money instead of just looking for something to spend it on. But whatever works for your kids is what you need to do. This just works for us.

Tip #4
Remind them and remind them often. I can't say this enough times, please, please remind them constantly. My mom made a comment to me not too long ago after discussing Caleb's chores. She said "I could never get y'all to do your chores. You would do them a couple times and forget." Well DUH!! We weren't used to waking up and making our beds or taking out the trash each Wednesday. You MUST remind them and remind them often. Caleb has been doing chores for YEARS and I still have to tell him each morning to make his bed, I have to remind him to gather the laundry or dust his room. Four years later and I still have to remind him. If you want your children to help out, then get used to the fact that your job is to remind them of what to do.

Tip #5
Patience is my last tip. Please be patient, not only with your child, but with yourself also. Some days we miss chores all together, and no I don't make Caleb go make them up and do double work the next day. We just let it go and schedule it again for the next week. You will forget to remind them, you will get sick and not feel like it, you will not get sleep one night and forget, you will be stuck in traffic and just not care.....life happens and the world does not fall apart because you forgot to remind your child to make their bed. So if any tip you take from me at all, please make it be this one. Have plenty of patience for your child and yourself. We have gone a week without ANY cleaning because the hubs and I were being turds to each other and I didn't feel like cleaning because I was mad. So nothing got done in our house from anyone for that week. In fact I think when we were all sick, we went over four weeks without chores. We just did our best to get back in the habit, slowly and easily, until we were back to normal. It happens and it will happen again and again. Just be easy on yourself and the kiddos. Okay?

So there you have it, my tips to help get you and your kiddos started on helping out in the house. Let me know what you thought and if you have any tips you want to share. If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask. I will be happy to answer them. Good luck with your children and chores and I hope all turns out well for you as it has us.

Until next time, take care.

-Kim