I'm trying
I'm trying, I've never tried harder in my life... but I can't. Why can't I? Why is it so hard? all I do is try but I'm alone. I'm always alone... but I'm trying. Don't tell me to try harder because I can't... I just can't. It doesn't mean that you can, then I can. SO STOP TELLING ME TO TRY HARDER. Why can't someone try with me? I just want to give up. I just want to stop and accept failure. The cold air that is pain is the only warmth I've ever known, It's taken over and I can no longer move, I can no longer breathe... but I'm trying...
Dear Faith, you are not alone. I do understand though what you mean. You have parents who love you and you also have grandparents who love you. Please reach out to them. You will be surprised how much they can do for you. They might even "try with you". You do not know until you give it a try.
Yes you are loved, so please do not think otherwise ever! But it is true that part of growing up is pain, and painful events that occur in one's life that makes one miss the oblivioussness and innocence of childhood. But that just means you are growing up and learning how to deal with more adult-sized concerns and problems. Anyway, keep writing, and please keep trying!