A Phantom Pain

Hi everyone, I am not usually one to share my work, I have always been somewhat insecure about my writing I was never given great marks for my writing in school. I had a lot of trouble with grammar as my native language is not English.

I have been reading and curating a lot of work and am really impressed by the community and the support on this platform, I would like to share some of my works.

This is all original works, it is a story of fiction strongly inspired from my life and perception

promises etched into walls forgotten,
life of wonder, no more, evergreen,
subtle, the wind carries, boundless,
calm, the river flows, formless
what can be of boys never men
who is within, mind empty, conscious
light, feel, perception, imperfection

I sit there silently, pained and discomforted by the sounds of whispering coming through the walls like a piercing screech into my ears. a deep sigh of frustration leads me down a thoughtless corridor of anxious awakenings uncertain and unable to make sense of the reality I now find myself in, I try to move, I can see a small opening in the distance, i try to walk but my legs are heavy, I see a handrail i can hold and throw myself to latch on, i pull myself closer in an attempt to make some distance, i am so heavy

the thunder claps voilently and wakes me in a cold sweat. Dazed and barely remembering falling asleep the breeze from the open window strikes like a cold whip. The broad leaves of the ferns outside drumming to the sound of the seemingly giant drops of tropical rain pounding them from above.

I wipe my body of the sweat, it takes me a few moments to realise where I am. I take a deep breath that seems to shred my dry throat, its only 10:00pm, I must not have been asleep for long. Life is surreal and reality is fading into fuzzy blurs of darkness, I feel aches all over my body and im angry, im angry but I dont know why, if i could just get my fix, I know I will be ok, I want to be independent but I know I'm too weak to fight it, I'm too weak for anything...

I try to stand but my legs are weak, i havent eaten anything for days, my body trying to purge itself of the toxins of the poisons still coursing through my system.

My bright eyes fade into euphoric fantasies of my love now lost to my insatiable apetite. she smiles at me loving unconditional. her hair waving in the ocean breeze, the smell of the blossoms that dress the sandy dunes gently enchants us with its natural aroma. I'm lost in her gaze, mesmerized by her beauty, impossible to forget, her soft voice calls to me as she reaches her hand out to caress my face. She has always been infintely kind, like the ocean, never leaving the shore, but sitting in silence, forever shhhhhh

the rain picks up and wakes me from my daze, her face haunts me the moment i close my eyes, sweat covering my body once more, the cold striking as the breeze touches my wet skin. I stammer towards the shower, letting the warm water restore some of my bodies heat as i stand there contemplating my haunting visions of light lost as choices made poorly are still excreted from my struggling system, I open my mouth to regain some moisture but the feeling of moisture on my sandpaper like tongue forces me to gag. The hot vapor is soothing on my dry throat and i am grateful the cough didnt hurt as much as the previous one and try to be grateful, the water seems to darken as i feel my toxins leave my body, the water slowls ever so softly and bubbles as it hits the drain like the demon is reaching out for one last chance to remain attached to me.

The sun peers through the thick canopy of palm trees and makes its way through a tiny opening just enough to strike my face and wake me. the storm has passed, leaving in its wake well saturated soils nourishing blossoming tree's. The most exotic of breeds are attracted this time of year, a beauty afforded to me too often for me to truly appreciate the value, no more. I see her smile through the clouds and I know she is with me. Always.

Thank you for reading my story, I hope you enjoyed it