Steemit Open Mic Week 77 - Afraid Of What You'll Find - (Original Song Demo)
Well...It's been some time since I've entered an Openmic solo. Here's a tune I've been working on, however haven't been able to really bang it out concrete as a finished song. So I figured I'd share what I have so far and see whether it's even worth continuing or not. I figure the PPL of Steemit will let me know lol.
This is quasi-Through Composed at this point just so you guys have an idea of the sections and what not.
Enjoy!
Cool.
Loved you at Steemfest in Lisbon, this is Craiggles; we hung out and had an amazing time as I'm sure we always do, WHEREVER we are.
I'm also a Torontonian, however I'm living in the upper Midwestern United States right now.
Thoughts on your clip, both ball-washing and cutting you down, all real talk for your benefit (I lost my ego at the Playboy Mansion in the year 2000 and never bothered to try and find it 😉)
Powerful start - You WILL be a world renowned star if you carry on. I hope you're ready for the trials that status will demand of you.
28 seconds - 53 seconds:
This is why you're unsure and asking everyone their opinion. Develop that part and make it awesome, not filler.
The rest is EPIC, chart-topping content, delivery, and passion.
Fix the front-end brother, and then don't sell this song.
Read the story of Sylvester Stallone and his script for the movie "ROCKY."
This could be your story.
Powerful @jaybird 👍
Good luck brother.
Whaaaa, ur in Toronto? @dan-atstarlite n I are hosting the 2nd Steem Meetup this Sunday! It’s @ The Cloak and Dagger on college st. 9-11pm.
You’ve got to come by for a pint man!
Also!
Thanks so much for the constructive criticism. That’s more what i was looking for and wasn’t getting too much of lol. It’s hard to progressively something without some tangible, “this part sucks” kinda stuff haha.
Awesome man! Glad to hear those thoughts were well received.
If I weren't in the US right now you'd certainly have me take you up on the invite!
Raincheck for Steemfest 3!
Sure hope we can get most of the crew that have come together on Steemit to crew out wherever Steemfest 3 ends up; Lisbon last year, and Amsterdam in 2016 were fun as hell!
Are you living in the U.S?
Ya mon, SF3 is going to be Epic. I'd imagine a bunch of the crew will be there.
You got it - living in MN.
Fun fact: I moved north to the United States from Toronto... 🤔
Hope you're able to start flapping those wings now that the weather is starting to warm up!
I often visit the T. during the summer, next time I'm oot there I'll reach out
Is MN.... Minnesota? That would make sense with your fun fact haha. Kinda funny bc nobody really considers that part of Canada is further south than some of the USA!
Yes definitely reach out when ur in town!
Hope to start flappin' them wings come April. Dan has finally migrated back to Toronto :)
Awwww no more pool videos from Dan? You guys better get a hot tub STAT.
AND both you boys better enter my steemit smut contests eventually - Sandwich entry for Smut entry? What do you say?
HA HA
I just realize our contests are the same initails
I wrote a whole story for the last 1... was too on the fence about releasing it as is tho. It needs lots of work still and even then, i’m hesitant to release it..
And yea SSC baby 😎
Well I am not afraid... I think it is probably the reverse really... What might you find up in this dirty mind?
Hehe 😉
Nice, Jaybird! Don't toss this one aside - there's lot's of potential there, brother... Take your time in polishing it up till' your happy with it. So far, I love it!
Thanks brother P. Appreciate the insight as always! It’s been in the works since the songwriter’s contest or shortly after it finished i think. So long time coming lol
I think its great so far. Definitely finish it!!
Thx, so that's 1 vote yeah so far against 0 neys ;0
Nice one @jaybird
Thanks Luz! I realized how long it’d been since i entered a tune... couldn’t let it slide mon!
What is there to finish? This is brilliant as it is, loving the groove! 👍
Ha thx!
Off the top of my head I'd say it could benefit from another verse probably, repeat the full chorus more than once, some more interesting transitions might be in order too etc. I donno, I feel like it's incomplete.
I like this song especially the mid breakdown, it seems to work good for my ear ;9)
thanks, I believe there is some potential there. Truth be told, it's been around since I finished up the Songwriter's Challenge and I just cannot seem to finish it haha. I think I drained my songwriting reservoir. This is actually the most progress I've made (recently).
nice.it's a song very bugus I like it
Great song!