Steemit Open Mic Songwriters Challenge Week 7 - Our (Original song)

ale.tripoli (42)in #openmic • 7 years ago

Hi everyone, I've decided to do an entry for the Songwritter challenge here on Steemit, I've been aware of the existance of the challenge today so I decided to do a song as fast as I could with the theme ''the right place, the right time''.
Here's the result, I hope you dig it ! It's called ''Our''

Our

I will be right back
Just when we started
Just to know where to
Find our right time

You could be like anyone
And I could do anything
but anything feels like nothing
Like nothing

Time is our saviour
It will keep us alive
Alive to know how to
Find our right place

Find,Find
Our right place, our right time

Thanks to @Luzchyper and @meno for sponsoring and keeping this contest alive , see ya in next post :)

#openmicsongwriters #music #contest #art

7 years ago in #openmic by ale.tripoli (42)

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passion-ground (63) 7 years ago

Whoa, man - this is a really good thematic composition and entry, brother!

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ale.tripoli (42) 7 years ago

I really appreciate your words man, cheers !

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bennettitalia (65) 7 years ago

I like the way the lyrics and melody are echoed by the guitar at first, moving along in a gentle, stately progression until you come to the coda, where the strumming comes in and it sounds epic. May I offer one (hopefully constructive) critical comment? I would have liked to hear you stay in the coda for a little while longer, letting that strumming and those final lines "Find, find/Our right place, our right time" build and crescendo a little bit before trailing off. I felt like the song was building to that point and it deserved more play. But that's just my take, I could be way off. Loved the song structure in general, performance, and lyrics. Great song :) Following.

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ale.tripoli (42) 7 years ago

Thanks for your comments, I kind of feel the same around that final moment, it deserved more space, I kind of did the song in a hurry because I have literally a few hours before the contest closed so I didn't worked as much as I like to...
But I'm glad you liked the song, really encourages me to keep doing it, I follow you back !

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bennettitalia (65) 7 years ago

I totally know what that's like! Both of my most recent entries were written and recorded in like two days, I barely had any time to practice them... consequently parts of the arrangements felt a little bit slapped together to me. I have to go back to them later and see if I think they need more work or not. Anyway, really like what you're doing and looking forward to hearing more!

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