One Sided...

There are things in our lives that are very unexpected, they happen because of various reasons that we don’t know. We often blame someone for causing those things to happen and we always blame ourselves for being a fool letting those things happen to us. We can’t control our destiny, even our fate, we can’t choose our parents, and we can’t choose the person whom we are going to love. Our hearts will really beat for the person that is really destined for us; we can’t do anything about that.

In my case, I fell in love with the wrong person. I fell in love with a very close friend of mine. I just woke up one morning having these foolish feelings for him. I supposed not to confess, but something pushed me to do so, and I really did it. “The feelings are mutual”, that’s the best line I’ve ever heard in my entire life. The feeling was very unexplainable and fabulous, it seemed all angels were singing above me and shouting “congratulations”, sounds corny and weird but it’s true. I couldn’t even eat and sleep for the first time in my whole existence in this planet Earth, all I kept thinking was him. I also imagined the things that we may do together knowing the fact that we feel the same way, eating together during lunch, singing songs on duet, and laughing with each other’s corny jokes. To imagine those things makes me feel very alive and complete.

In this world it’s impossible for us to be happy at all times, we should experience sadness too. Through pain we can learn new things and make ourselves become better.

“No spark between us”, was like a gunshot. Suddenly the magic was gone, it turned into a very dark place where I couldn’t get out. Why a sudden change of mind? Why? Why played with my heart? After hearing those words my whole world collided, I was drowned hearing those words in a slow-motion manner. For the third time, I was broken!

I planned not to talk to him for me to move on. Though it was very difficult I really tried to ignore him to the fullest. I didn’t want my feelings to go deeper because if I did, it would be difficult for me to get out of it. I successfully made it for an entire week, but I decided to cut it off because I couldn’t take it anymore. I was used to be by his side all the time, I missed his laughter and the craziness in him, I missed the punch here and there scenarios that we had, and the arguments when we’re talking of nonsense things.

One day came, everything changed. Things were unlike before; he said the friendship would never change but seemed like we became strangers. We didn’t talk just like before; awkward feeling was really in the air whenever we’re together. My world really turned upside down with our situation now, if I could only bring back the time when we we’re still only friends and not confessing what I felt, I would. I always felt heavy knowing the fact that my feeling got deeper and nothing in his side.

I came to realize that we really were not meant for each other. He would never love me as much as I loved him.