She's struggled with how she appeared to the public. She knew who she was and what she wanted but after being told so many times to dull her shine so.others felt better about themselves. I truly think that when you realize you've toned yourself down or dulled your shine to make others feel better and stop caring you really are free. It's not cruel or hurtful to others. It's just not what they're used to and takes a special person to live with it forever.