How to express ANGER fully

in #nvc7 years ago

Hello All, the session today is about ANGER and how to express anger fully.

If you are angry, the steps to expressing this anger:

  1. Stop and do nothing except to breathe. Simply stay quiet and avoid making any move to blame or punish

  2. Then you identify the thoughts that are making you angry.

  3. The next step is to connect to the needs behind those thoughts you have identified. For example, if you judge someone to be lazy, the need may be for support and cooperation.

  4. To fully express yourself, state your feelings and unmet needs.

Note: from NVC perspective, in expressing anger, the intent shown through tone of voice is to treat the other person with respect while respecting our own needs.

Without a calm tone and demeanor, it will be difficult to be effective even with these right words.

If a coworker said to you "You are being lazy", which triggers anger in you.

How can you express your anger?

  1. Take a slow deep breaths
  2. I am angry for the coworker not appreciating my efforts
  3. My needs behind those thoughts is acknowledgment of my efforts.
  4. When I hear that I am lazy, I feel angry and wanting some acknowledgement for all that I do around here.

You can try it at home to fully express anger.

muba

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