Beauty Is Pain: A Phrase Women Are Told As Children And Why It's A Lie

It's a phrase I learned from my step mother as she brushed tangles out of my hair as a child, little girls are taught that enduring suffering will make you beautiful and we must be attractive to be loved. Women have long suffered for the attention of suitors, from tight corsets, high heels, make up, shaving to eating disorders, our gender has been molded into being appealing to men at our own expense. We have forgotten about natural beauty, you don't have to work yourself to the point of pain to be attractive.

Beauty standards have lead women to drug addictions, eating disorders, sexual assault and a life of emotional and physical pain, these habit forming thoughts planted early within a child's mind with subliminal messaging in every make up commercial, music video, and model ridden advertisement. Even some movies for children, such as Disney, stress the damsel in distress and societal pressures for women to fit a particular role. With all these expectations and standards for women, its no surprise that most women don't respect and value themselves or their bodies. The feeling of being worthless and lack of respect and love for yourself is a key factor in many abusive situations, the down play and inability to regain control of their situations and make a change for the better. So many women believe they deserve the abuse being dealt or they just aren't worth the fight for something better and that is simply not true.

I have experienced molestation as a child, and I struggled with obesity as a teenager I had no respect for myself, my body and didn't believe myself to be worthy of anything more than being taken advantage of over and over again, but as I have grown I have found a love and respect for myself, I found the voice that put an end to the abuse I kept coming face to face with. Beauty doesn't have to be painful, beauty can be easy and natural you just have to find love for yourself and you will radiate beauty from the inside out.