BRAVO to you for stepping out of your comfort zone and posting this! I can identify with the feeling of "melancholy," as I experienced much of that while I was growing up. I am sorry for all the trouble you experienced, the sexual abuse, taunting, neglect... it is all such a tragedy. But talking about this helps us to understand you better, and I hope venting it has helped you, at least a little. Big hugs to you... 💙