Home Depot Panics After Entire Generation Discovered To Be Functionally Autistic - Makes Video Tutorials For Proper Operation Of Tape Measures, Hammers, Nails & Mops
It's an odd thing to feel like the Abe Simpson of your own generation before you are old enough to run for president.
In another reminder of Millennials inability to think for ourselves, Home Depot is discovering that the idea of "Do It Yourself" doesn't work quite so well with a generation obsessed with spending their full budget on travel to compete in the virtue-signalling Olympics on Facebook for the best "I'm holding the Tower of Pisa" photo.
After all...why do it yourself when you can pay someone else to do it, then hopefully slide into the grave with 3 cents left after voting in single-payer healthcare in your 40's?
Unfortunately for Home Depot, this problem isn't going away anytime soon. 26-year-olds are now the largest single age cohort in the United States at 4.75 million.
One hilarious aspect of this story is that Home Depot was actually rather concerned their tutorials would come across as condescending and actually alienate customers. When a massive multi-national corporation that engages in billions of dollars of advertising to co-opt your buying habits is concerned about condescending to you, that alone says a lot.
In related news, they probably shouldn't have worried too much. Zero Hedge also reports that Scotts Miracle-Gro has been forced to start offering "basic gardening lessons" that, I jest you not, had to focus particularly on plants needing sunlight because that was becoming a major point of confusion for younger customers.
I'm as anti-corporate as the next rational Steemian, but even so, you have to sympathize with Home Depot & Scott's plight. What do you do when your potential customer base is afraid to use most of your products because they think that "Social Media Manager" on their resume is not downright hilarious?
I better call it quits here - the irony of advancing this line of reasoning on a paid social media platform is weighing upon me greatly.
If you have any additions or errata for this post, please let me know! I will see that they are voted to the top of the comments, and will make the appropriate edits (if possible).
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Sources: Zero Hedge, Wikipedia, Deutsche Bank
Copyright:The Simpsons, Deutsche Bank, Home Depot, Reddit u/dilyemara
The worst part of Home Depot is that they employ millennials. Ever try and get directions to the copper pipe cutters?? 20 year old male employees have their faces buried in their devices and are usually huddled together in the lawn mower department.
When I need anything, I always look for the old geezer or the young girl. The old geezer knows what he'd doing and the young girl will always direct me to the old geezer (who you know has a little bit of a crush on her).
"I always look for the old geezer"
These are the guys giving me the best info when I stop in to either Home Depot or Lowes (which seems to be like the "Whole Foods" of diy stores).
"the young girl will always direct me to the old geezer (who you know has a little bit of a crush on her)."
That's a good one, I should keep that in mind!
woot whole foods
Your favored shopping experience.
Entertaining post! It's like you want to laugh, and you do laugh, but then you're like thinking to yourself, why I am I laughing? Anyway, resteemed!
""The essence of good satire is it makes you laugh on the outside and cry on the inside."
-@Lexiconical"
-Michael Scott
Thank you for your confidence in my work.
Very interesting and scary post, I have read quite a few articles about millennials and I don't like to say this but, there is something seriously wrong with that generation, I know it sounds like something old people always say about the new generatios, but for real I am worried.
I was talking with @lenin-mccarthy about this and he told me he read somewhere that part of the reason millennials complain so much and are sensitive and don't know how to do stuff, is because they did not get attention when growing up, there mom's and dad's had to work a lot, so the parents overcompensate with toys.......anyway that's just a theory, maybe all millennials just have different degrees of autism, who knows? :/
"there is something seriously wrong with that generation, "
I get to say it because I am one!
" is because they did not get attention when growing up, there mom's and dad's had to work a lot, so the parents overcompensate with toys.......anyway that's just a theory,"
It would certainly correlate with this horrifying chart, for which the government/elite has "used" a number of political "movements" to achieve (Lately, things like Antifa/Unrestrained Immigration, SJWs, Radical Feminism):
(if too small, right click + view image, or try Ctrl + Mouse Wheel Up)
Apologies for any ruffled feathers out there but that chart is a genocide against the family and I calls em like I sees em. Twice the people working make less than the wealth one did in 1970.
It was way better for everyone when the economy was FORCED into paying enough so that ONE PARENT could pay for a household and ONE PARENT could handle the deluge of bullshit that still comes along with that.
I care not which is which.
amusing post. Would be even more amusing if it wasn't so damn true. I swear they are the dimmest generation to have ever existed. So many are all about instant gratification for themselves and nothing else. Don't get me wrong there are some legends out there but the are being drowned out by a sea of fools, don't you think @lexonical?
"I swear they are the dimmest generation to have ever existed. So many are all about instant gratification for themselves and nothing else. "
I blame the technology that grants instant gratification, combined with a culture that encourages the same.
The latter is particularly insidious and operates mostly uncriticized, preaching patent falsehoods like "you can be anything you want to be" and "everyone will love you if you just be yourself." That's how you get generations buying The Secret and the inappropriately named "Law" of Attraction, which has been scientifically proven to be false.
We should probably not even touch the social hot potatoes that would made a population incredulous a mere decade or tow ago, such as "fat acceptance."
The common thread in all of these poison pills is that you do not need to put in time, effort, or work into whatever the task at hand is. When the results is objectively lower quality humans, it's really not a surprise - it's exactly what you'd expect.
Combine that with smartphone technology, Instagram filters, and Tinder and you have a reputation for the most entitled, solipsistic and unskilled generation the world may have ever known.
well said. I reckon your absolutely correct about technology being. I heard it said recently that say people in my age bracket were born in an analog based world and are adults in a digital world. Where as the millenials are almost total born in the digital era. I guess that makes a hell of a difference.
"I guess that makes a hell of a difference."
I'm afraid it does. I can feel technology changing me.
My attention span is shorter than it was as a child, for example. Ugh.
I got a Home Depot catalog in the mail last week. Evidently they now carry dinnerware, kitchen knives, bed clothes, and decorative cushions...
For those who are millennials, if you made a post about any of these things and used the tag 'DIY'... pretty sure you'll get flagged.
How dare you besmirch the army of young contractors who slave away, day in and day out, to manually set the dinner table and a complete place-setting!
LMFAO
;)
I'm in the category of being tool-impaired, but i always have to laugh at all the home depot "let's get started" on home modeling crap. who has money for that? not me, i bought my house b/c i like it, no free cash for trendy upgrade bullshit / peace
They're pretty good at fooling people into thinking that improving their homes will "increase the value".
They just don't bother to mention that's not an increase NET of what you paid for it...
Not as bad as the Honda Bike dealer, though...oddly despite my excellent credit.
That's it, I'm going to start carrying an onion on my belt.
Could be social suicide, as I'm not sure "that is the style at the time".
Do millenials really travel that much? Intrestingpost, going to google that
You'll find that Millenials do not save anything for the future/retirement, and they hate equity. They rent everything.
They use the liquidity that frees up to do nothing but drink, travel, and overpay for iphones.
Retirement is going to be a distant memory in a couple of generations.
u rly set me str8 on that one and now i have a house!
Lol, you do indeed.
The west seems to be going into the end stage of an empire, "bread and circuses" But which generation saved for retirement in their early 20s? When I look at old photos of my grandparents from the 50s they were going to the beach and buying new cars. Instead of cars now its just iphones and expensive drinks at the bar..
"bread and circuses"
SNAPcards and Facebook on Obamaphones?
"But which generation saved for retirement in their early 20s?"
I'm not sure, but I do know you find a lot more stories of people who lived closer to "Great Depression" times knowing how to save. That's for sure.
Saving money is great but what does that do for the economy if no one is spending?
I think my generation gets an incredibly bad rap, most are not snowflake liberals as people want to believe when they bash millennials.
The Golden Generation (US) who lived through the depression and World War II are amazing in many ways, however, they and the Baby Boomers are the reason the world economy is so fucked.
These generations massively squandered resources and hoarded wealth by awarding themselves with unsustainable pensions and bonuses, allot of it on the taxpayer's dime. Besides bankrupting Social Security, Government workers in sectors like FBI have enriched themselves from jobs that were supposed to be public servants.
I feel you will just blame the government and bureaucracy for things like these but remember it was the older generations who voted, created a bloated federal system, misdirected our country, indebted the future generations, and raised and educated the terrible "millennials"
I agree with most of what you said.
"I think my generation gets an incredibly bad rap, most are not snowflake liberals as people want to believe when they bash millennials."
I only do it because I am a millenial, heh. There's an element of satire here.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Good post.
Thanks Andy!
Thank for sharing my friend @lexiconical
I like post you
Resteem
Thank you so much for adding my post to your blog!