'We're going to catch all of you little Fockers': Robert De Niro plays Mueller and Ben Stiller spoofs Michael Cohen as they recreate polygraph scene from Meet the Parents in SNL cold open
**Saturday Night Live's cold open was once again focused on President Trump
Jeff Sessions was played by Kate McKinnon and Mike Pence by Beck Bennett
The two men interview Michael Cohen, played by Ben Stiller
Cohen is then sent to be interrogated by Robert Mueller, played by Robert De Niro
Stiller and De Niro recreate their famous scene from the film Meet the Parents**
Saturday Night Live’s cold open once again poked fun at President Donald Trump’s legal troubles, though this time it featured surprise cameos from megastars Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller.
De Niro portrayed Special Counsel Robert Mueller and Stiller spoofed Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen.
In real life, Cohen is the lawyer who is under investigation by the federal government.
In a move that outraged Trump, FBI agents raided his home and office and seized computers, phones, records, and other potential evidence.
Investigators are reportedly taking an interest in cash payments made by Cohen to women who allegedly had sexual relationships with Trump.
The two stars - Stiller and De Niro - were in character while recreating the scene from their hit 2000 film Meet the Parents.
The cold open begins with Attorney General Jeff Sessions, played by Kate McKinnon, and Vice President Mike Pence, as portrayed by Beck Bennett.
The two men ponder their boss’ legal dilemmas while meeting in an office at the Justice Department in Washington, DC.
‘I don’t know, Mr. Vice President,’ Sessions says.
‘I feel like I say this every week, but this week was bad.
‘I’m beginning to regret my wish to become a real boy.
‘I toss and turn in my shoebox all night, wondering: “What’s the FBI going to do next?”
Pence replies: ‘I know. We’re in a real pickle here, Jeff.
‘And you know how uncomfortable I am around pickles.’
That remark was likely a criticism of Pence’s conservative stance toward homosexuals.
‘I can’t believe they raided Michael Cohen’s office. What are we gonna do, Mike?’
Pence replies: ‘The important thing is to stay calm. In a couple of months, the president will be back to normal.’
‘How’s that?’ Sessions asks.
‘Because it will be me,’ the vice president says as he laughs and high-fives Sessions.
When a secretary knocks on the door and enters the room, Sessions grows alarmed and raises his hands: ‘Are they here for us? I’ll go peacefully.’
Stiller then enters as the abrasive lawyer.
‘It’s Michael Cohen, attorney at law,’ Cohen says. ‘Also sometimes not at law.’
‘Can you believe what they’re doing to poor Mr. Trump? It’s a disgrace!’ Cohen tells Sessions and Pence.
‘This whole raid was a complete violation of attorney-criminal privilege.’
In real life, Trump and his supporters claim that federal investigators are overreaching because Cohen's communications with Trump are protected by attorney-client privilege.
When Pence suggests to Cohen that ‘if you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to worry about.’
‘Is that a joke?’ Cohen asks.
‘Look, we got a real problem here, Jeff. You know how much evidence I have in my office.
‘I’m Donald Trump’s lawyer. I’ve got a whole hard drive that’s just labeled “Yikes!”’.
When Pence reminds Cohen of the allegations against him, including arranging a $1.6million payment from a Republican fundraiser to a woman so that she could abort his baby, the lawyer replies: ‘$1.6million for an abortion. Thank you, Obamacare.’
‘This is all your fault, Jeff,’ Cohen tells Sessions. ‘You shouldn’t have recused yourself.
‘You should have protected Mr. Trump. He’s a fragile flower.
‘And he also happens to be the smartest, kindest, sexiest, least colluding man on this planet which I call earth.’
‘OK, so he’s just a full dum-dum now,’ Sessions tells Pence.
Sessions and Pence then send Cohen down the hall to meet with someone.
That someone turns out to be De Niro, who portrays Mueller.
In real life, Mueller is the special counsel investigating Russian meddling in the 2016 election.
It has been reported that during the course of his investigation, Mueller came upon evidence implicating Cohen, who is being probed by the Southern District of New York.
In the SNL sketch, Cohen walks into an interview room with a desk, a polygraph, and a chair.
Mueller then walks in and begins to interview Cohen.
‘Looking for something Mr. Cohen?’ Mueller says to Cohen.
Mueller and Cohen then recreate the famous scene from the movie Meet the Parents, in which De Niro’s character interrogates Stiller.
Mueller hooks Cohen up to a polygraph and asks him questions about the Trump investigation.
‘How’d you like that pee pee tape?’ Mueller jokingly asks Cohen.
‘Are you a lawyer?’ Mueller asks Cohen.
‘Ish,’ Cohen replies.
When Mueller asks Cohen about the $130,000 payment to Stormy Daniels, he replies: ‘Yes.’
‘And did President Trump know about it?’ Mueller asks Cohen.
‘No,’ the lawyer replies.
That’s when the polygraph machine begins to indicate that Cohen is lying.
Cohen tells Mueller the payment to Daniels was ‘a gift’ like ‘a rock you throw through a window with a note tied to it that says “stop talking”.’
‘So you threaten people?’ Mueller asks Cohen.
‘Directly? No. But let’s just say I cut a lot of letters out of a lot of magazines,’ the lawyer replies.
‘I’m just trying to milk some information out of people. So what?’
‘Did you say milk?’ Mueller asks Cohen.
‘Yeah, like with a cow or a goat or a… cat. You can milk anything with nipples.’
‘Really?’ Mueller asks. ‘I have nipples. Can you milk me, Mr. Cohen?’
The line about milking cats was directly taken from Meet the Parents.
When Cohen tells Mueller that the Russia investigation is a ‘witch hunt,’ Mueller replies that investigators use ‘code names’ so that they are emotionally detached from their subjects.
Trump was once known by the code name ‘Putin’s little b***h,’ according to Mueller.
‘Now he’s Stormy’s little b***h,’ Mueller says.
Ivanka Trump is given the code name ‘Girlfriend’ while Jared Kushner is ‘Other Girlfriend.’
Donald Trump Jr and Eric Trump are known as ‘Two Fredos,’ according to Mueller.
Cohen then asks Mueller what his code name is.
‘Dead Man Walking,’ Mueller replies.
When Cohen tells Mueller that he has rights, Mueller threatens him.
‘You broke the law,’ Mueller tells Cohen. ‘And now we’re going to catch all of you little Fockers.
‘You got that?’ Mueller says.
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