Barack Obama Says "Merry Christmas" 17 Times

Since I'm a bit of an amateur historian, I'm well aware that Christmas was originally a secular holiday that almost all churches tried to suppress. While it was ostensibly to celebrate the birth of Jesus, for centuries Christmas was an excuse for celebration and drunken mayhem rather than creches and solemn hymns.

As such, the so-called "War on Christmas" is patently absurd, all the more so when it's claimed that saying "Happy Holidays" is somehow a liberal affectation. Quite the contrary; retail stores invented the phrase in an obvious attempt to include non-Christians in the holiday gift-buying spirit.

Probably the dopiest part of the campaign against the "War on Christmas" is the ignorant assertion that the Obama never said "Merry Christmas." To prove that wrong, Slate magazine brilliantly compiled this video of Barack Obama saying it seventeen times, along with a bonus "Merry Christmas" from Michelle:

You know, as I think about it, this whole "War on Christmas" nonsense is probably the least Christmas-y sentiment that it's possible to have. It takes a certain kind of evil genius to take the happiest time of the year and turn it into an excuse to hate other people. Especially since consumption during the holiday season is major driver of the U.S. economy.

Careful listeners will notice that two of Obama's "Merry Christmas"s are in Hawaiian. So just to round things out, here are 141 ways to say "Merry Christmas," excerpted from WhyChristmas.com. BTW, four of the languages are imaginary; ten points to anybody who spots and identifies all four.

Afehyia pae
Afishapa
Alassë a Hristomerendë
Alussistuakeggtaarmek
Anandi Natal or Khushi Natal
barka dà Kirsìmatì
Bellas festas da Nadal
Blithe Yule
Blunya na wo
Bo Nadal
Boldog karácsonyt
Bon Nadal
Bon Natale
Bon Natali
Bon Pascu
Bon/Bun Nadèl
Buon Natale
Buorit Juovllat
Chag Molad Sameach
Chuć Mưǹg Giańg Sinh
Crăciun Fericit
Cualli netlācatilizpan
Danistayohihv Aliheli'sdi Itse Udetiyvasadisv
djoyeus Noyé
E güeti Wïnâchte
E keresimesi Oma
E ku odun e ku iye'dun
Eguberri
Eid Milad Majid
elicem Diem Nativitatis
Feliĉan Kristnaskon
Feliz Natal
Feliz Navidad
Frohe Weihnachten
Frohe Weihnachten
Geseënde Kersfees
Gëzuar Krishtlindjen
gilocav shoba-akhal c'els
Glædelig Jul
Gleðileg jól
God Jul
Gozhqq Keshmish
Heri ya Krismasi
Hristos se rodi
Hyvää joulua
Idara ukapade isua
Il-Milied it-Tajjeb
Inte mangalaashamsakal
Iselogbe
Izilokotho Ezihle Zamaholdeni
Jabbama be salla Kirismati
Jeulgaeun krismas doeseyo
Joyeux Noël
Juullimi Pilluarit
Jwaye Nowe
Kala Christouyenna
karisama te nawāṃ sāla khušayāṃwālā hewe
Kellemes karácsonyi ünnepeket
Khushal Borit Natala
Ki'imak "navidad"
Kirismas Wacan
Kirîsmes u ser sala we pîroz be
kiṟistumas vāḻttukkaḷ
Kreesmasko shubhkaamnaa
Kris mas habbada shubhaashayagalu
Krismas Chibai
krismas mubarak (کرس!