Swamp News 1st April 2019

As an inhabitant of the local wetlands (swamp) I was horrified when Trump said he was going to drain the 'swamp'. I was much relieved when I realised he was talking about Congress and government. The people in the 'swamp' he was referring to were very alarmed on both sides of the house because of the indiscretions they had committed. Trump is slowly killing all the alligators and snakes but he never realised that, according to rumour, his running mate Pence was a snake in the grass who had been working against him since election. It looks like Nikki Haley will be Trumps new running mate.

The New South Wales election was won by the liberal/conservative coalition and the Labor leader will 'fall on his sword', some say he was stabbed in the back, as he was blamed for losing the election. He just was not prepared at all.

It looks like Obama and Clinton will be investigated for their un-American activities, no details available yet.

Obama is caught up in the university bribe scandal that surfaced when some Hollywood personalities were exposed.

The New Zealand Parliament opened the current session with an Islamic prayer. The prayers at the start of every sitting day have been changed to omit Jesus and the Queen.
The Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is a socialist agnostic with Mormon parents.

The far left news network CNN, dubbed as the Clinton News Network at one time, which is known for its radical and emotional news readers and producers, has lost so many viewers and revenue that it is expected to collapse before the end of the year. Did somebody say 'fake news'?

As an aside, all the TV stations in Australia are left wing excepting Fox. Some game hosts even criticise Trump any chance they can get.

The Brits haven't left the EU yet, but the Queen has given up driving and Meghan has chosen a maternity hospital closer to home.

Thanks for reading, I hope to make the next edition of Swamp News more juicy.

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