Hang in there Philip. Having struggled from depression and addiction, I've also been on antidepressants before. I've successfully stayed off, but my opinion of them has changed significantly -- they truly did save my life.

That being said, whether to stay on them or not is obviously a personal decision, but because of your physical symptoms I highly suggest you get a few opinions on what the next best steps are for you. Not saying you should go back on them, just want you to be careful in your journey.

Best of luck.