20 Minute Blog <strike>a day</strike> once every 5 months: a minuscule existence
My timeline now tells me I have been inactive on Steemit for 5 months.
I have tried to post something a few times but either ended up distracted or just had no motivation to complete what ever I started. Writing became a chore - and not the regular 'trash or laundry duty' kind - the kind that takes constant effort yet is never fully complete.
Writing feels like trying to keep a glass table spotless.... with toddlers and dogs around.
What's the point?
My non-existent internet connection feeds my apathetic approach - if I can't quickly find a open network I save myself the aggravation and just close my laptop.
The lack of motivation has begun to irk me though. Hence the post I'm writing now.
Maybe I will actually finish this one.
Lately, I have been ruminating on my life's purpose more than usual.
My minuscule existence is such an oxymoron that I feel compelled to wonder more, what is the end game of this life?
I don't know if oxymoron is really the "correct" description but it feels fitting to me.
I have a life full of love and I have an important role to fulfill as a mother of two boys and perhaps that is my main purpose. I love teaching and guiding my boys. I have full confidence that I am raising boys who will grow into respectful, good men who think for themselves and stand firm on their morals. This is a job of utmost importance because it shapes lives directly. In its essence it is the most important job in the world aka my world because all the world is (to me) is the one in which I am the star.
This is the oxymoron I am trying to get at. The world is such a huge place, full of billions of people (or so we're told LOL) it is so much more than my small corner. Yet the world to me IS my small corner, and its all it will ever be. So why should I be concerned with "changing the world" or making an impact on "the world" when all the world will ever be is right in front of me?
Yet I have this nagging ache to "change the world", to help people outside my small corner or to make a difference in the world. Yet I technically do that every day in the most important way.
I anticipate opportunities as my purpose shifts when my kids out grow me and I have been reminding myself to cherish these days. I try to stay present in each moment and enjoy it. I must say it works (for me at least.) The days pass by quicker than ever. Before I even realize it I am preparing lunches for tomorrow and setting up the coffee pot for the morning. It sounds humdrum and monotonous, but it's not. Each day is unique and contains its own little surprises; the good and the bad. But the days roll on.
I haven't had much time for my own creative hobbies but I also have not made time for them. If I had the inspiration or motivation I could easily carve out some time.
I go through seasons. I am thawing out, I think.
I titled this one my minuscule existence - like a play on words - a joke, The Joke I think.
It reflects this oxymoron, mirroring feeling I have been working through. As above so below.
I will have to think on it more because I know I'm only skimming the surface on this. I can feel there is some kind of depth in this concept yet I can't put words to it.
If you took the time to read this ramble, I thank you. I hope to write more in the future - once I decide which topic might spark my interest.
(Yes, @palikari123 I took a note from your book and ended my post with an italicized final line of text for dramatic effect.)
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I to have been struggling to find time and get back on steemit my friend. It’s odd how once you get out of the swing it feels like pushing a boulder uphill to get back into it. Glad to see you are coming back though even if it is only a small bit here and there. It’s interesting you mention the smallness of things... you were a huge help here on steemit for myself and others and that was just you blogging. Most people you reached out to and provided assistance to, you did without hesitation and remarkable effectiveness. Basically I know undoubtedly that our little neck of the woods in cyberspace is a lesser place without you about. You may see your efforts as small but this is false. They aren’t. Hopefully we see you soon enough back to weekly tarot, creating posts, and getting back into the swing of it all. When people like you make the space something brilliant normally fills it. There’s worse knacks to have you know. Lol. Sending my kind regards matey and hope you’re well.
Thank you for reading and commenting @mudcat36 :) it is always so good to hear from you and also to be reminded of my place here in our little commune. I hope to tip toe back into a more active role again but man, you've never been more accurate.. it is very much like pushing a boulder uphill! These are my mental push-us though ;-) hopefully soon I'll be able to pump out the posts and comments like I did before. I
do miss the connections and support I found here on Steemit. Thanks for reminding me of that. I hope all is well with you, too and I'm sure I'll be talking to you again soon.
@amariespeaks Welcome back!!! I’ll make sure to stop by often. 😊✌🏾
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thank you @melrookermusic :-D
@amariespeaks be sure to let me know when your next blog goes up! :-)
welcome back wandering star!
Thank you @bifilarcoil ! Love this video LOL so trippy and cool! perfect for me :)
:-D
I am so glad to see a post from you after all this time. I will always take the time to read your "rambles"..which they are not. I also look forward to you continuing with your creative writing ventures...There's a purpose right there! I hope you and your family are doing well!😇
What can I say? I am absolutely honoured to be mention tagged by such an amazing person like you, in one of your posts:) Yes it may only be for the italicised last paragraph, but that's ok...I'll take it. Next time however, make sure it is also in bold case, because that gives the perception of extra high intelligence lol.😂
I have been called an ox and a moron so many times in my lifetime, that I myself feel like I am the epitome of an oxymoron. 😛
ahh, yes I forgot the most important part: the bold effect LOL thank you for the reminder. I got a good laugh out of your ox/moron line lolol being a taurus ;-) we are very much ox already and I am also a moron most of the time too so it is fitting hahaha
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment too! I really appreciate it my friend :) Hopefully I will make another post soon. Currently I am cataloging some of my older research projects, saving the sources and such to flash drives and starting easy to read documents and powerpoints that outline the quick but important facts so one day I can spread some knowledge to those less capable of doing research.
Maybe I will bombard a town meeting or two with some of my fun facts on fluoridated water supplies and the harmful effects of 5G hahaha
So much has happened since you have been gone.
-doomsdaychassis
doomsdaychassis you have changed your name! I like it ;-) change is inevitable but I hope nothing catastrophic..?
nah, I am still here. I just multiplied. My orphans of doom is my curation trail account. So I can upvote people with a bunch of accounts to help people out. I think it is all worth about 30 to 50 cents a vote now.
:)
oohh phew! Congrats on your curation trail! That is so awesome! I know you've gotta be doing great things with it :-D
@barge thank you for stopping by! It's nice to see you too - I'm heading over to see what you've been up to!
some times i think about cool ideas too to write, but get distracted just long enough till the idea loses it's emotion and I have no motivation to do it. Anyway before i get distracted in the comment section here for too long am gonna write a post now :)
I definitely feel your pain @filandosmith I am notorious for this! I keep a running list of topics and instead of actually expanding on things on my list I find myself mostly just adding to it and keepin' it movin' LOL my most pressing goal is to stop adding to my list and to start working each of the points I have previously listed.. we'll see how this goes ;-)
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I was checking you out but kinda late. I have been inactive as well. Hope you are well
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment :) hope you are well too <3
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