My letter I wrote my neighbour before I left

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                                Enough With Your Bushy Hedge and Rotten Hedge Trimmer
                            
        Dear Mr Jackson,

I have always felt annoyed living near to you. You are the most terrifying neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud singing.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your hedge is too bushy and your hedge trimmer way too rotten. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a dog collar

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud singing from upsetting me. I demand that you cut down the hedge then invest in better sound-proofing.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your smelly gerbils increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a classy neighbourhood like Rose Close.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your loud singing on Instagram.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
satochi