How to deal with Negativity: Gold Soul Theory

                      

     Have you ever been around someone who emitted a certain emotion, non verbally, that you could feel? More than likely, the feeling they transmit is not a good one, it is usually a negative feeling that they tend to give off. Negativity is something we all experience on a constant basis. Whether it comes from another person, or a situation we find ourselves in. Negativity is an expression or characteristic of being pessimistic To be pessimistic, is to feel as if everything is constantly going wrong or will go wrong; or having a lack of confidence and/or hope in an outcome. In a way, you could say negativity, is the little brother of pessimism.  

     When someone around us is being negative, it begins to affect the way we feel. It can make us feel a flurry of emotions, those feelings usually being sadness and hurt. It is almost as if you have become the "target" for those people's feelings, whether they pertain to you or not. This then, makes you feel bad about yourself, or makes you feel as if you have done something wrong. In turn, making you feel negative too. Alternatively, when we begin to feel negative ourselves, we begin to feel like we are sinking, sometimes taking others with us, in an attempt to stay afloat. During this time, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we begin to hurt those people; thus leaving them in a negative state. Essentially one-person feeling negative can, and most likely will, cause a domino effect. 

So the question is how do we get away from all this negativity, or stop it?   

                 

     The answer is simple; we possess the power to stop negativity where it begins. Negativity, or any emotion that leaves us feeling bad, is toxic and can leave a "scratch". If we allow the "scratch" to stay, without a resolution or a repercussion, we begin to develop a nasty wound, which begins to fester. Essentially leaving us feeling unjustified and causing emotional "scarring". In medicine, if something is, toxic or infectious, we treat the wound to stop it from causing further damage. The same concept can be applied towards any negativity we encounter, whether it stems from others or ourselves.   

     When dealing with someone being negative, remain positive, and try to push that positivity towards them to get them out of that state. Sometimes we are so lost in our own thoughts that we forget or do not think that there may be alternative solution. By offering your comfort, positive reinforcement, and advice; you may change the way they are viewing there issues. If that does not work and matters become worse, leave the person alone and allow them to handle things by themselves. When, or if, they do come out of that negative state, confront them, and tell them the way they made you feel was wrong. However, if they do not offer you an apology, come off as being sincere, or cause another problem; disassociate yourself from that person.  

     If the negativity stems from yourself, take a step back, and think about any actions that you may want to take, before doing so. If you find yourself, in a state where you may affect others negatively try to isolate yourself, think about what is bothering you, and try to find a solution. If you cannot find one by yourself, once you are calm, try to reach out for help.  Alternatively, you can also look at your problem, from a positive perspective. For example, you and a significant other maybe having a disagreement over something that happened, look at it as a positive learning experience. If, at any point in this process, you have hurt someone, remember to apologize and be sincere about it.    

     In life, I have learned that both positivity and negativity are action words, meaning you must actively contribute something, in order to receive either of those feelings. This can be proven by Issac Newton's third law, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." This law originally applied for physics; meant when an object, is aimed and thrown at a target, the force going into and then coming away from the target is equal. Therefore, if we apply this law to positivity, whatever positive energy we put out, is the same energy we will receive; which is same concept for negativity.   

      The reality of how you choose to deal with negativity boils down to how much you value yourself. We have become so focused on our own negative self-thoughts or others negative criticism towards us; we forget our own value, our intrinsic value. By allowing people who bring their negativity into our lives on a consistent basis, we only put ourselves down, which we do not need or deserve. We should surround ourselves with people who bring positivity and encourage us to be better people. We should see our own value as being priceless, because we have individual traits, features, and characteristics, that no one else possesses. Value yourself, as if you are gold, and ALWAYS remember to stay positive. 

We all have gold souls; we just have to find it.  -LadyQ