I've been having a very wobbly week. You know those times when you feel challenged, are full of self doubt, or you feel uncomfortable? There's been no particular reason for it, except perhaps for poor planning and attention on my part. Or maybe not - maybe it's just something in the planets that has made everything I have tried to achieve this week difficult. Curve balls have been flyiing at me from all directions and I've dropped nearly every one.

It's then my little child comes out and feels incredibly frustrated, which leads to feeling anxious and stressed. It's difficult to see the positive in these moments, right? Sometimes it just feels like it's something you have to endure, and go bury yourself in chocolate or wine to deal with it. Except I'm not doing booze this year, well, so far anyway. So where do I hide?

Nowhere. That shit you gotta riiiide, baby.

And so I did my usual thing and went to the beach, tried wave watching and feeling the warm sand under my feet. Water, gulls, ripples, sand, shells, kites, clouds. But there was so many people around I felt frustrated again, and kinda sad that the coast is getting so busy these days it's hard to find spaaaaaaaaaace.

So, to yoga I went, with my wobbly heart.

Sat on the mat, listened to a mantra over the speakers before class, listened to the cockatoos, the wind, my heartbeat, rode those waves to my core and breathed.

I'm a huge fan of slow flow yoga - moving with breath in an attentive, mindful and gentle manner. It's still challenging, but I like the slower pace. Starting from childs pose, cat/cow, down dog, plank, cobra/updog, surya namaskara, side angle, triangle, reverse triangle, reverse adha chandrasana... wait what's going on here?.... aeroplane...warrior goddamn three?... we're balancing tonight?

There it was again. That awful, frustrated, challenged feeling I was trying to escape by coming to a class.

It's a little like someone's in my heart wringing out a towel and slapping my insides with it.

Not nice at all.

This is when the inner dialogue starts: the 'I can't do this', 'I'm falling all over the place', 'I'm never coming back to this class again', 'do you think they'll notice if I leave', 'god I hate balancing poses' and so on. All the while focussing on my alignment, sucking in my core, elongating my spine, finding my drishti...

...ahhhh... drishti.. that gaze on one single point of...

... focus...and then in we go inward, a softened focus, remembering truth..

And before long I'm back in savasana, melting into infinite space.

Balancing poses do challenge, but they are such a reminder that wobbles happen. You can rock a perfect dancer's pose one day and the next you can struggle to lift one toe off the ground. They're humbling that way.

From discomfort, little gems. From the noise of all those distractions of self doubt and being rattled by the world, to peace.

It's a reminder of why I practice yoga. Those challenges and moments of discomfor are gateways to clarity, and through the physical practice on the mat, you cope with life a little bit better off the mat. Sure, my week has been a bit wobbly, but I balanced okay, and I haven't fallen yet. In fact, I'm feeling pretty steady again now. I've found my earth, found my centre.

Just don't ask me to stand on one foot.

With Love,