My story - I dream of an ideal family life

We meet with the guy 3 years (2 years we live together with his parents). I am 23, he is 25 years old. I graduate in high school, I work part-time. He does not work by profession, he does his favorite thing (I help him and support him) and this brings a normal income. We are creative people. We like to work together, we understand each other in work with a half-word.

In family life there are pluses and minuses. I understand that there are no ideal relations, but I can not understand and catch the line where this negative is normal, and where this negative can affect negatively all family relations.

I can not understand myself. I love him or just used to be with him and imagine life in a different way. There are things in his character that are unlikely to ever change and which do not terribly please me. And I can not understand, this is so necessary in family relations, tolerate each other (in some things) or should everything be perfect? And these minuses can then ruin our family life?

How to find out what disadvantages are normal in the family and you can not worry, but just have patience with time. And what are the cons of an anxious bell about a bad future?