We all do our best...I have had times in my life when death was a peaceful thought...an escape? Yes...but...based on what I had in my life and the lack of abilities to see any light...healthy options were foreign to me...thankfully I found a step program that provided me a safe place to discover "me" and a blueprint on how to live a life that was manageable...even enjoyable...however...I need to work it each day because when all said and done...I'll always deep down be me...and for that...I am grateful...