Sometimes we have to say goodbye.

Let me start by saying I love music. I can't play it or read it to save my life.... but boy do I love to listen. Over the years I have had many favourite bands from many different genres depending on my mood or happenings in my life. The interesting thing is that out off all the bands I have loved only a select few have endured over the years. Linkin Park is one of those bands that more times than not made my playlists. It has taken me a bit to process the passing of Chester Bennington as his voice has echoed in my ears for the better part of the last 2 decades.

Chester took his own life by hanging on July 20th, 2017 and many have speculated that the prescription medications he was using contributed to it. Ask anyone who has ever been on an anti-depressent and they will tell you suicidal thoughts are known side effect. It must be a well documented issue because, at least in my case, my doctor asks me if I have had any thoughts about harming myself or others everytime I see her to renew my prescription. I am not saying this is what happened ... and to be honest who really knows (no one was there but Chester).

I can tell you first hand that there is no enemy worse than your own mind. It knows your weaknesses, it knows your insecurities, it knows how to hurt you, and it never lets up. For those of you with no idea of what I am speaking about ... I hope you never do. It is a cruel 24/7 assault from within that you can't shut off. Some people called it their "demons". I have never been religious but I get their meaning. If you have listened to any of his songs it was painfully obvious that Chester had "demons". Serious demons. He struggled and to some degree one can speculate that music was his way of exercising those demons. He let them out for all of use to see and hear. I am thankful that he did because it helped me with some of mine too over the years.

Medication and therapy (lots of talking with professionals) has done wonders for me but the "demons" never really go away. If anything you just find ways to keep them at bay for a while. When they return ... it starts all over again. Suicide is no longer the only option I see when fighting my illness but if I am perfectly honest I know how it feels for it to feel like it is. All of us feel down some days but that is not what we are talking about here ... anxiety and depression is not having a bad day it is an illness.

Fighting a mental illness is the hardest battle anyone will ever have to fight and it is a fight that you have to fight everyday in order to survive. Unfortunately, however sometimes "the demons" win and "one more light goes out". Sometimes we have to say Goodbye

When the light goes out all we are left with is memories and in Chris's case heartfelt lyrics depicting his lifelong fight with his demons. These are a few of my favourite memories of him.

*images from google
*videos from YouTube