POWER OF MUSIC, POWER OF MEMORIES   

Aloha fellow Steemers, 

I was thinking of the power of music the other day and I thought I'd share things rolling on my mind. 

I was listening to my favourite songs this morning to get my day going. Get pumped for the full day ahead, as I do every morning. Actually I can’t think of my life without thinking of music being a huge part of it.  I use music to enhance what ever I am feeling or I am going through in my life. When I am sad, music helps me roll into the depths and have a good soul cleansing cry, when I am overjoyed right tunes make me feel even happier, when I need to Zen out with meditation or get energized at the gym or just keep me going during a long day..there is always a perfect song for it all. Music is my constant companion in life and can't imagine my existence without it. 

My spirit needs music to feel alive!  

It's interesting to realise how songs, just like smells, sights, sounds, tastes…they open up pathways to parts of us we thought did not exist anymore. Releases a flood of emotions from moments passed, bring up such vivid memories from times long gone  we thought we`d forgotten. Make us think of people we once loved and lost and those precious moments we shared with them, moments that once made our hearts burst with happiness but now fill it with sadness and longing.  

I press play on my phone and let the familiar playlist fill my ears once again, a collection of familiar songs that I have had there for years now. I let the sounds and lyrics travel through my mind and straight to my heart. Some songs make my lips curl into a soft smile that warms my being from the inside out, some make me feel dreamy and believe like everything in life is possible, some fill me up with melancholy…all different rays of emotions stored in these simple tunes.  

All of a sudden I hear the first few beats of the next song, I can feel my eyes beginning to burn and dwell up with tears, a gentle ache on the corner of my heart rapidly grows bigger and bigger. Before the words float to my consciousness I quickly press skip and move on to another song, quickly shaking of the feelings that almost made me go back to a place and time that I don`t ever want to forget.  

The conflict I find myself in is that despite not wanting to visit that place from the past, not wanting to remember all of those happy and sad details simply because it would be too painful for my heart to bare, I refuse to delete the song. I feel I don’t, because despite the pain it causes,  it is part of what once was, who I once was, what led me to be who I am today.  This same situation happens almost daily…with different songs on the list…yet I cant remove them from the player, my heart wont let me…they are there but I hardly ever listen to them all the way through. Some days I can but most days, remembering is way too painful. I guess the day I can listen to the songs from beginning to the end and just feel a soft yearning, I have healed from the pain, but until then, there is still work to be done. 

So I continue to do what I most often do, listen to my hearts guidance and keep on skipping on my playlist when the strange yearning starts to fill up my being again. To be honest, I don´t even want to forget, because all those moments and people once were the reasons why I felt more alive than ever, the reasons why I smiled a bit wider even when I didn´t feel like smiling, the reason why I am the person I am today. They are part of my story and for that reason, never to be erased from my heart.   

And so it is.