Privileged White Male on Beyonce
Hold Up!
Before I get into Beyonce -- who is very much a woman -- I want to set my context as a man. In The Truth, @neilstrauss says, “Lying is about controlling someone else’s reality, hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt you.”
If you haven't already, sit with that for a moment. Think back to the last time you lied to someone. Who was that lie for? Probably you.
It's exactly this -- a lie -- that starts The Truth.
We follow Neil through a a multi-year journey of getting his relational shit together. He begins in a relationship with his girlfriend Ingrid, cheats on her, ends/loses that relationship, spends some time figuring his heart out, and comes back to reconciliation and trust-building.
Through it all we get the benefit of Neil's perspective -- a mostly masculine experience -- with only occasional glimpses of Ingrid's experience.
In these snapshots of journal entries, we can guess that she is powerfully loving, capable of forgiveness, and strong. But also hurt.
What's it like to be the woman on the other side of the lie?
Where might we find Ingrid's side of this story? To feel that someone you trust has put control on you in that way? What's the woman's perspective on getting cheated on by someone she loves and then finding forgiveness and reconciliation in the way that maybe only a woman can?
This is where Beyonce comes in.
Seriously. For real.
I always thought of Beyonce as superficial. Pretty, poppy, and teenage-girl-anthem-y. Maybe she has been, I don't know.
But earlier this year (with a lot of help!) she released 'Lemonade,' a visual album about exactly this. And I want you to see it.
And I mean SEE it. The audio album has nowhere near the same effect as the visual album which includes some beautiful imagery and several incredible poems by someone no one had heard of before.
This is Neil's book as told by a woman. She discovers lies, she is hurt and angry, she begins to dig into the trauma in her own life that brought her here (why is my partner like my father?), and finds strength again, and forgiveness even when the trust isn't all the way back.
I've been talking to women about this album for a couple of months. It 100% resonates with their experiences on some level and has led to fascinating conversations I've never had before.
Here's a taste of the pain and truth you'll find in the visual album:
You remind me of my father, a magician, able to exist in two places at once. In the tradition of men in my blood, you come home at 3 a.m. and lie to me. What are you hiding?
The past and the future merge to meet us here. What luck. What a fucking curse.
I smell your secret, and I'm not too perfect
To ever feel this worthless
How did it come down to this?
Going through your call list
What's worse, looking jealous or crazy?
I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home. Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it's not possible for someone like you. But you are the love of my life.
Our love was stronger than your pride
Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again
Lagniappe
(That's Louisiana for 'Bonus Track')
In addition to the Relationships slant, there is a LOT of cultural influence in Lemonade, and I haven't found any one person who picked up on all of it the first time through.
You will discover the parades and Mardi Gras Indians from Louisiana alongside slang from Texas. This is a rare hip hop / pop album with rock and country done well, with help from Jack White and Vampire Weekend and lyrics borrowed from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
And Beyonce surfaces challenges of being black in America. Don't let that last one slip by as you see mothers holding portraits of unarmed sons who were shot by police officers, video of the New Orleans Superdome, and Malcolm X quotes. Having so, so much should make a crowded mess. Instead, it's a masterful composition. It's an Album in a way that we don't see albums anymore, as a narrative rather than a handful of singles and filler.
So as you pass through, here are some resources to help you keep up:
Keep an eye out for Zendaya, Winnie Harlow, and Serena Williams.
Keep an ear out for James Blake, Kendrick Lamar, and Jack White.
By the way, I'm Alex.
I've been living, working, and practicing Transcendental Meditation in India for about 3 months, I lead teams to make online and mobile applications, and I help people stay accountable to their goals. Normally I live in California's Bay Area. How can I help you?