Glass Onion: It's Just Dumb

Glass Onion is a parody of a mystery. No actual mystery involved, certainly nothing like the original Knives Out. The lack of meaningful mystery may have been built into the plot, and into the title, but the fact remains: this is an adventure, not a mystery. It is a non-stop barrage of industry jokes, nods to popular mysteries and trendy cultural references. Plot holes from Blanc's wristband to the attitude Greek police are likely to take in the presence of extreme wealth weaken what might be a better-than-average Bond movie. Everything considered, it's a typical sequel: writers flush from their last success, lazy and drunk, piece together a mess which is then punched up by snarky dialogue and passed off as a worthy successor.

The snarkiness is mostly limited to mocking their target audience: liberals and their post-industrial social media fake economy. They mock, in order, the masking mania, political karens, crypto nonsense, spaceflight psyops, climate change, trendy rich people, tough online talk by dimwits, scammy podcasters, puzzle games for posers, celebrity cameos, lockdown gayness, bad Southern accents, magic medicine, cuckold gun guys, ostentatious wealth, social networks, Banksy, Kato Kaelin, narcissist rich aholes, CGI robot dogs, New Age chakras, biorhythms, Elon Musk, kombucha, Anderson Cooper, catty women, influencers, breaking conventions, disrupting the system, high-tech surveillance, Apple, Steve Jobs, selfies, trannies, boardgames and LSD. In fact, the writers mock the mystery genre, turning it into a clownshow. Adding dozens of references to other cultural markers, from literature to art to music, does not magically create originality.

Glass Onion is a derivative waste of time and money, a bad joke like Pisceshite Island. It's not clarity, it's just dumb.