Why the ghost pulls the quilt about cute nonsense in horror movies.

When I was a child, I once watched a fairy tale inadvertently - it was talking about an evil queen-witch who through her magic mirror kidnapped virgins and drank their blood to preserve eternal youth. It was the only production in my life with a vampire in the lead role that scared me. I had nightmares after the screening - for about 3 years. I only fell asleep with the lights on and there was no way I could go to bed without my beloved teddy bear.

I had several such episodes. When my cousin was in the 8th grade of elementary school, she shared with me (6 years younger) the content of reading she was discussing at school. It was about the Holocaust. For me, a 10-year-old snot, it was quite a traumatic experience. To this day, I feel great discomfort when confronted with camp literature and films on similar subjects. In fact, I hate the subject of the entire World War II and its aftermath at all. You can call it a trauma, just the enormity of human suffering that took place at that time is beyond my head. I can only treat them in terms of abstraction, because my imagination has its limits.

In 2002 I tried to watch The Ring. I lasted only the first few minutes, I had to let go when the mother of the girl who died at the very beginning of the story recalls the image of her daughter found in the wardrobe. She died of horror. The sight of that face grotesquely twisted from horror, as if loose, kept me from watching the movie for a long time. In the end I broke up - to this day I consider The Ring to be the most terrible horror I've ever dealt with (although I take into account that I was in high school at the time).

I don't know when I caught the bug. Now I'm not passing any horror movie I hear about. It doesn't matter if it's Asian, American or any other production - I have to watch it. I remember once reaching for Hindu horror. It was quite a painful experience. They danced and sang. In a horror movie. There are cultures I can never understand.

Of course, I don't watch every garbage that appears in cinemas. I honestly and deeply disgust the movies, which are based on throwing guts at the camera and shocking with macabre. It's easy. Such productions feed on the lowest instincts and are shoddy - somehow I understand the people enjoys it, but I can't take this trend seriously: gore and slashers are not even taken into my ranking. In the perfect - in my opinion - horror movie should not be a drop of blood. Unless in a form such as in almost perfects Kubrick’s Shining (based on King) - a film that holds the viewer by the throat almost from the very beginning and does not release even for a moment. The film, which after 2 hours of nerves does not close the action with an effective massacre, in which all the main characters hang out and does not try to blame anything on the ghosts. This is about a bad man. It is a man who pulls the trigger.

Unfortunately, such movies are rare. The great majority of horror films are based on operating with limited motifs and story solutions in such a way that after 10 minutes we know perfectly well how the whole event will end. Can you really no longer be creatively frightened? I don't want to believe it. Silent Hill has restored my faith in the fact that there are still undiscovered places in me where fear is to venture, and although this image completely does not coincide with the pattern I described above, I still have a great sentiment for it, despite all the shortcomings.

If you watch horror movies, you've definitely caught up with these repetitive phenomena. Phenomena of horror cinema, charming absurdities that make us behave like football fans during our screening and shouting at the screen: "don't lie there, you stupid girl!" ... "or" well and sh* landed "(such a small ritual - seriously, never watch movies with us). What is my problem? What the hell is wrong with me? It all comes down to one thing: I can't be afraid when I know what will happen. And if Emily Rose is lying in bed on a dark night, I know what will happen next. And that's why it's funny - not scary. It's never scary ...

The quilt phenomenon

It is known that a demon, spirit and every supernatural force ALWAYS starts by pulling the quilt from human. Sometimes, in addition, jumps on the sofa, knocks on the window, writes felt-tip pens, drinks coffee or changes the wallpaper of Windows, but this quilt will never let go. Why? Hard to say. Perhaps it has to do with some part of the Bible in which the demon finds pleasure in feet. Or a quote from the Quran according to which the human soul is located there. It may also be that the Upanishads claim that the quilt is an abomination in the eyes of the demon and creates a border between the temporal and supernatural world.

However, another theory seems more likely, resulting from a simple, childish fear of the dark. Do you remember that when you were children, the quilt that you wrapped tightly in the shape of a cocoon was a great protection against the monster lurking under the bed? Even today, many of us cherish this fear. During sleep, we are defenseless and devoid of consciousness, only the quilt protects us from all the evil of the external world - at the symbolic level, then, perhaps it is a return to the mother's womb or something.

Okay, I'm just making fun. Remember: if in the horror someone is lying in bed, the ghost will definitely pull the duvet from it.

Bang!?!

Old, good American school of scaring is based on one simple grip - silence, silence, silence, guest goes down the corridor, silence, silence and suddenly BUM, door slamming, someone farts loudly, pan falls, stray cormorant does not make a bend and crashes with a bang for the nearest window. Horror. The viewer in the cinema is full of panties and a heart in his hand (because it popped out), he thinks "good shit!" And does not allow himself to realize that he has just overpaid for something that a relative or roommate could do to him.

I remember one day I went into the kitchen at night and went to the kettle without turning on the light. When I turned around, my brother stood behind me - I do not know how the nibbler approached me so quietly, because he is a big peasant, but I thought I would go down to a heart attack. I didn't start yelling, but the kettle went to the Land of Eternal Hunt that night after it hit the floor with a bang.

This is probably the most primitive grip that can frighten a man - maybe in addition to the aforementioned throwing a blood at the camera. And the naive viewer kind of knows that something is about to pop out from around the corner, but he is still fooled. A woman enters the kitchen alone at night, it is known that it will not be so easy, but it still falls to pretend to be surprised when the pots fall to the floor from the hooks. Mother. The skeptic already in the first minute of the screening knows that since these pans hang on hooks, it's probably not to hang. It is known that they will fall. It's like having a wardrobe in a horror movie and not putting any demon in it.

Wardrobe phenomenon

There are always various miracles in the closet. In yours, at most, you may be surprised by dirty socks that you put away instead of throwing to the laundry or a forgotten coffee mug (I searched for it for half a day!), But in Hollywood this is where the most happening: if not Narnia (yes, yes, I know it's based on a book), it's a demon, if not a secret passage, it's a treasure map. After all, no self-respecting ghost would scare you in the toilet (maybe under the shower, but it should have a plastic curtain that you can strangle the victim - a plexiglass cabin is not suitable), because the climate must be - the ghosts prefer cellars, attics, abandoned houses in the forest and wardrobes. Preferably old, solid wood, two-door and creaky. If you have a wardrobe with sliding door at home, do not be surprised that demons bypass your apartment in a wide arc. You can't slam or creak with it. And what is this scaring without creaking and slamming?

Evil sits in the closet. Preferably in children's, because the average spirit needs a warm-up and before reaching adults, it needs to train a little on children. Of course, the parents NEVER see anything, and even if they see it, they are cheating, so they laugh at the closet until their child is lost or the dog dies.

The phenomenon of not using mobile phones

There used to be no problem because there were no cells. At present, screenwriters do not know how to get out of the fact that there is a bloodthirsty maniac in the house, and none of the 15 teenagers bumps into dialing the number and calling where it is needed. Today, this is usually resolved by moving the action to the House in the depths of the forest to stoically say "I have no range!". An attentive viewer has long calculated that in the US it is enough to walk half a kilometer from home, for the range to be lost forever, the battery is depleted, and the cell itself was stolen by elves. According to this logic, there is no coverage in elevators, basements, attics, Central Park, in dark alleys, nowhere anywhere, where it is dark (logical, there is no light, there is nothing) or there is nature in the form of at least two trees and dead fox.

Of course, no one claims that even in urbanized states, coverage can be caught anywhere. But be serious - since I can catch it in the middle of the woods of England and in the club a few meters underground, I don't think that the problem is the grove behind the American house.

On the other hand, it is not known if these phones change anything, since possible attempts to contact the world are based in horrors on the hysterical "God! God! Help! Help! ”. After which the battery - of course - dies forever. I do not remember that in any horror movie I have recently seen sending a text (although they probably are, I only rarely watch horror movies about murderers, because they are all the same).

The ghost hour phenomenon and excessively rich symbolism

Considering the different tastes of many demons, it can be concluded that there is only one hour of ghosts and it lasts ALL THE TIME. Some ghosts prefer symbolic 3:33, others 7:77. They all know how watch work, even when talking about demons from times when no time units were known to us today and from places where they are not used today (seriously, there are such - and they also have demons). Ghosts are often very punctual, although sometimes it is not clear what drives their choice in terms of the hour: sometimes, to guess it, you need to count the letters in the name of JESUS, add those from the word SATAN, multiply by Thursday and add some cocaine. Then you only need to substitute the received number to a specific key and we have the name of a demon. The more counting, the more sophisticated and intelligent the demon, and therefore the more mean. The more counting, the more impressed is the viewer who will not watch any glory and expects from a solid horror a powerful symbolism, a lot of magical raving and haunted explanations, even if they do not stick together.

My favorite films are those that can combine many cultures and religions into one surprising amalgam. Such, I would say, film ecumenism. We take Azazel, for example, add Beelzebub, Thor, Vishnu and Atlantis to the set, and then solve everything with a code straight from the picture of Leonardo da Vinci. And voilà. The viewer's intelligence is not angry, because after all, who cares about logic and that's why we watch horror films to require consistency and sense from them, since we have the mentioned bang and the removal of the quilt on hand.

I know. I tried to be funny and it turned out as usual. When I think about examples of movies that alienated me from exploiting the above motives, the first thing that comes to my mind is: Paranormal Activity, Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Conjuring, Amityville - well done (maybe except Paranormal Activity, it's one of the most boring and banal horrors I've ever seen in life) and praised by many viewers, but in fact simple as shovel and predictable. If you let them scare you, it means that you really wanted to be scared and you took care of it yourself. As for my favorite titles, then - in addition to the ones I've already mentioned - I recommend: 1408, The Orphanage (although it has a miserable, very Spanish ending - they can't do any horror movie), Sinister (really positively surprised me with the climate), or Korean A tale of two sisters
(I wouldn't call it a horror movie at all, but oh, what an atmosphere!). It is also worth reaching for the classics - as long as I cannot watch Rosemary's Baby and the A Nightmare on Elm Street bored me immeasurably, the Exorcist, Omen, Aliens and even Hellraiser have in my opinion still climate, as you look.

Let's be honest - we like to be afraid. We have some fun out of it. And there are quite a lot of us perverts - so maybe someone would frighten us in style? For a moment, we escaped from the escalation of violence and jumping out from behind the toilet door, and instead started to build a climate and show us our worst nightmares?

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