Inspirational and funny quotes

Being inspirational and hilarious at the same time,could really mean you are on to something.
Some people call these “de-motivational quotes”. Well, to me they are still pretty dang motivating and really hilarious.These few are my best ones;

Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!

• Jeffrey Gitomer
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  Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
  -Thomas Eddison
  the elevator to success
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  A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
• Steve Martin

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Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
-Kyle Chandler

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People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
-A.A. Milne
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A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
-Unknown
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Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
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Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.
-Bill Copela
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Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
-Tom Lehrer
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Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
-Isaac Asimov
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Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
-Truman Capote
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People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s wh
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If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
-Dalai Lama
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When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’
-Sydney Harris
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
-Lily Tomlin
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Well-behaved women seldom make history.
-Laurel Thatchel
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There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.
-Roger Staubach
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Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.
-Unknown
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I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.

• Louis C.K.
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  Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.
• Danny Kaye
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  If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big.
• Tom Hirshfield
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  There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
• Bill Watterson

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If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.

• Unknown
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  I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.
  -Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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  Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
  -Voltaire
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  I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
  -Benjamin Franklin
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  Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there.
• Josh Billings
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  When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
• Cathy Guisewite
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  Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.
  -Unknown
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  Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
  -Charles Schulz
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  Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.
  -Napoleon Hill
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  Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t.
• Richard Bach
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  I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.
• Cassandra Duffy
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  By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
• Robert Frost
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  My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
• Dave Barry
  Loved it? I bet you did. Always look at life as a funny game,then you could enjoy it till the end. Okay,there i go inserting my own two-penny quote,lols.Thanks for reading.