We don't need you : we need our selves .

oussamaflp (29)in #motivation • 6 years ago (edited)

Addiction is a way to fill a gap in a specific area: sexual addiction, food, drugs ... etc

We will focus on a kind of addiction that is emotional dependence.

the person who suffers from an emotional dependence knows a lack in the field of the human relations which it tries to fill it by attracting more attention on it.

Mostly, the emotional addicts are true chameleons who constantly adapt to others to please them, they simply give the power to the other to control their emotional destiny.

away from immaturity or selfishness, it is quite normal that the human needs to feel integrated ready to receive love, tenderness, recognition from birth, that's all. is normal but when does it become problematic it is when the need remains large is essential to the point where the person begins to doubt itself of his membership in society, or even the universe, we speak of a feeling of non-existence in the absence of recognition.

As a child we get too much gratitude from our parents it develops his self-esteem the essential ingredient to advance emotionally and personally or even professionally ... on the other hand if the child gets too used to this kind of attention and compliment he becomes emotionally dependent he will always need someone to congratulate him to reassure him that he has done a good job, he eventually loses control of his emotions and gives the power to the other to guide his mood .

signs of emotional dependence:

1- you feel alone with yourself
2- you are afraid of abandonment
3- You cling to each other
4- You believe that your value depends on the presence and look of the other
5- You need to please.
I summarize all that ...

"If you are able to be happy when you are alone, you have learned the secret of happiness" (Osho).

if you are not happy when you are with yourself it is that you are not able to take your life in hand, you are not the captain of your ship, then you depend on others to make you happy because you're bored alone you have no passion that you can develop in your moments of solitude you lack creativity and imagination.

if you are afraid of losing someone you love in your life it is normal we focus because we are human, after if this fear is present with everyone, all the people who are on your list you know that you are afraid that you will be left alone (e) you are afraid that you will be abandoned so you will try to change your inner being, your true self trying to please everyone.

How to overcome emotional dependence:

when one wants to cure of a disease one must first know the causes to better proceed.

when we are dependent we are not eating enough!

this is the main cause of emotional dependence, in truth people tend to forget themselves in the ocean from the outside because their brain is programmed in such a way that they believe that it is the others who must feed them. from the love of the attention of energy wholesale it is up to others to give them permission to live!

take on that responsibility of filling in and feeding oneself
congratulate yourself and love yourself, support yourself ... you will no longer need support but it can make you happy!

Manage your emotions, develop your personality:

Another time to be the creator of your happiness you have to know how to manage your emotions, control them so that you can be independent.

to live for oneself and not for others:
to be creator of your happiness can of course detach you from any external force that can harm the health of your mind because you are the only one who decides, the only one who has the keys.

do not attach yourself too much to anyone:
So we agree that attaching to someone is quite normal, however, if this attachment becomes a drug and we are not able to spend a day without hearing from this person and that in the meantime we are bored and impatiently waiting for the exchange of words, we will be in dependence.

accept solitude instead of fleeing it: