Nuggets of Wisdom #13

I believe most of us welcome positive criticism. It's the best way for another person to hold up a mirror and show us the faults we have, but don't see. We often get this from family or genuine friends. At times we might even get from colleagues, a boss or even a stranger. It doesn't matter who gives us such criticism, but how we respond to them is crucial for two reasons;

1. We show humility by acknowledging we, like everyone else, make mistakes. In other words, we are not too arrogant to have others point out when we do fall short.

2. We give others the permission to remind us when we are not aware of our own flaws. This allows us to evaluate ourselves and become better as a result.

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Having said that, there's another form of criticism you should never accept. This is the opposite of positive criticism. This is when others either monitor your every move just to tell you how terrible or useless you are, or they give you their unwanted opinion about the goals/dreams you have or the decisions you make.

As for the former, this is because the critic is insecure and finds pleasure in finding faults in you in order to feel good about themselves. If this is a family member, a friend or a partner, you need to have a serious talk with them and remind them that what you need is their support and praise, not their criticism. If it's a boss or a colleague, you have to put your foot down and show them you do not accept such behaviour.

"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks."

As for the latter, than these forms of criticism are as useless as they are unwanted. You do not need anyone to tell you how to live your life, and you definitely do not need their permission to make your own decisions, plan your goals or dare to dream. The fact that they criticise you for those things means they don't have anything to look forward to. So to feel better about themselves, they try to crush your goals and dreams by telling you how incompetent, inexperienced, poor, uneducated etc you are. As Churchill put it, do not waste your time responding to every critic you meet or know because they will simply delay your progress. Instead and as today's nugget of wisdom suggests, be like an eagle and use your storm (criticism) as something that lifts you even higher.

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