The Distance Between What You Want and Not Having it

A cool morning in 2012, I was weak but I have to wake up against my will to get to work.

Slowly, I managed to get my body ready to bath and commute to work - of course, I don't have the luxury of eating despite been hungry. Doing the "eating" will add minutes to my time and I will surely be late to work.

It was around 5.30 am and I joined the bus to take me to work.

On our way to my work place, rain started and it just won't stop.

I was angry at myself at having to go through all these stress just to pay my bills.

The bus stopped at the last bus-stop and I felt like returning back home but I have got a boss waiting for me at work to do the work that doesn't interest me anymore.

I managed myself out of the bus and the next problem for me is how to walk to where I can get a shuttle to take me to work.

It was an exhausting moment for me.

Work wasn't fun as usual that day and my body also never helped my situation.

I have to take a permission to go home an hour before closing time but I surely have another problem to deal with.

There is this huge pedestal bridge that I need to deal with to get to the bus station at the other end of the road to get home.

Walking up the bridge and across it was the most painful moment I have had in life.

My life almost went out of me for those minutes that I tried to cross the bridge.

I almost collapsed with my backpack that contain my laptop that day but I just don't know how my weak legs and body carried me through that ordeal.

Walking across this bridge on my way back from work wasn't the best of time for me then.

Two months after, I said goodbye to a job life.

I am done and done for good - never to return to having a job again.

The next two years was hectic and stressful for me.

I did a lot of things online and nothing seems to work.

I was broke and have to live in with my younger sisters who I looked up to then to take care of my needs at one point after another.

I was two years of me been ashamed of myself as a man.

But I won't just go back.

Nobody believed in my crazy idea of not having a job and living off the internet.

My dad mocked me, my Mum loved me but thought I won't make it. Friends are doing big things with having a job. I have no girlfriend and couldn't even think of having one.

But I keep going and trying.

In 2014, one sunny August afternoon, I got an email that changed my life for good.

That was then.

Today.

I woke up early after a night when I managed to sleep for some hours before my restless mind and brain got me up to do something.

My body was weak, so weak but my spirit and mind are all strong as steel.

I jumped off my bed, my fiancee's call is waiting for me.

She is just damn silly and I love it.

Thirty minutes after, I brushed my teeth and managed myself with the little strength I have to prepare something to eat in the kitchen.

I should be resting anyway but I can't just rest doing nothing. My restless mind abhors space and doing nothing.

I have clients work to attend to but those have been handled by someone else for me. I paid him to free my own time to do other things and to supposedly rest.

Without thinking of what to do, I arranged my microphone and my phone and I recorded a silly video to send to post on my Whatsapp status in response to a popular comedy video trend here in Nigeria.

I earn nothing recording, editing and posting the video but it's just fun and I love doing it.

That is how my day has been for the past six years since I left my soul sucking job in 2012.

It's not about the money.

I have been broke for two years and I have made money as well in the past few years. That's not just the score for me.

The game is freedom and the score is how much fun I can have doing whatever I feel like doing.

As I started writing this, I remembered that day in 2012 when I was sick and I still have to go to work and deal with been drenched in the rain and navigate myself across a bridge I hate to use and spend my time with co-workers that I really don't like except for some few ones.

The distance between then and now is just time and patience.

I am still not there yet but I am smelling it and can see it some days.

For six years now, I have been free!

Isn't that one of the most interesting part of my CV (if I have to write one today).

Cheers to freedom.

It's all about Time and the P- word - Patience!