The Self-Defeating Voice You Should Defeat.
You can't do it.
Now you've fucked everything up.
You're a bad person.
No wonder people think you're weird.
You'll never be good enough.
I am sure many of you have heard these little fuckers. They throw a wrench in your mood, your plans, and your motivation. Ironically, they tend to pop up most when you start to feel content, happy, and excited about the future. Why? They are your survival mechanisms, and they don't want you getting too goddamned relaxed now that things are going well.
I was watching an interview/conversation a couple of days ago between Vayner Media's Gary Vaynerchuk and multi-millionaire, world famous motivational speaker and businessman Tony Robbins. It was a great interview. Something Robbins said really jumped out at me. He said something like Look, we have a 200 million year old brain trained to look for potential bad things that could happen in order to help us survive.
This functionality is especially pronounced in those who have been abused, are extremely empathic, or traumatized. Your brain is trained to look for the potential bad things that might happen because in the past they have happened. Your brain is trying to protect you, but there comes a point where this functionality can go haywire and become counterproductive resulting in neurosis, phobias, compulsive behaviors, worrying, and obsessions. In most cases our physiology reacts to a stressor as if it were an ACTUAL LION in the room with us.
Now, granted, there is an ominous cloud of dread floating around (especially in highly conscious groups of individuals) about the state--the government--and the murders, abuses, kidnapping, rape and slaughter perpetrated by this entity daily, and that shit adds up. ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO ARE WELL-READ and well-versed in history. Even here, though, the fear can become paralyzing and counterproductive if not transmuted into anger, action, intention, or purpose.
So how do I combat these huge feelings of dread--both state and un-state-related--when they hit me?
I don't know. I really do not think there is a one-size-fits-all answer. Talking to someone who can understand definitely helps, even if you think your worries, feelings, or concerns are invalid or irrational. Feel your feelings, and don't run away from them. Take action directly into them, and ultimately...and always...
Keep moving.
(And sometimes "keep moving" means slowing down and getting back in touch with yourself)
BUT ALWAYS...
Keep pushing forward and KEEP FUCKING MOVING, HOMEY!!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
I"m in Japan too! Near Tokyo. Good article - I've always been the defiant one about norms and society in general, always questioning, never just accepting, making my own path. Following.
Fear is a survival mechanism, in a world where we don't survive anymore. I find confronting myself about how I'm feeling and repeating the mantra of Apocalypto, "Fear is sickness. It will crawl into the soul of everyone who engages it."
Thanks for this. Following you now!
I don't know. I really do not think there is a one-size-fits-all answer. Talking to someone who can understand definitely helps, even if you think your worries, feelings, or concerns are invalid or irrational. Feel your feelings, and don't run away from them. Take action directly into them, and ultimately...and always...
I really like this part, it makes me motivated and understand, this is a very good warning
Interesting post, thank you for sharing! Just this week I was reading the book 'The untrue story of you' written by Bryan Hubbard. He states that negative thoughts and emotions are unfinished events that have occured to you in the past and re-occur in the present as long as it isn't finished to you. A way of protecting yourself, but also limiting your growth and limiting living your potential as well. This to me makes a lot of sense
Questioning your emotional states is one way to go about it. When you're feeling crappy, acknowledging that your crappy emotional state is not the state of the world, but a response to the thoughts that you're thinking, helps diffuse it and even let it go. Of course, some people may find it impossible to let go of fear or anxiety while others may do it almost instantly. We all have different weak spots, so it's good to have a wide arsenal of mental and emotional exercises and releasing techniques.
Sedona Method is one that is simple and amazing and I have seen it help people with phobias, anger issues and even chronic depression.
So true. What we are thinking dictates our emotive state.
Sharing your feeling with other can help, But in Asian countries we do not have professional help like the western countries have, here we rely on our close relationships @kafkanarchy84
I am in an Asian country. I also rely on my close relationships :) I agree, though, that many people in Western countries are too dependent on people with "certifications" and actually very lonely due to the culture and lifestyle.
When I said "sharing your feelings with others" I did not mean only doing so with professionals, but with friends, family, and people we care for and trust.
Yes. It feels like we are being encouraged to disconnect from personal relationships and to connect more with online "friends." Thank you for posting this.
I alway felt that action is the best way to defeat self doubt in my life.
Didn't even know, that our brains are " trained to look for the potential bad things that might happen because in the past they have happened."
Nice thing to know.
"Keep moving.
(And sometimes "keep moving" means slowing down and getting back in touch with yourself)
BUT ALWAYS...
Keep pushing forward and KEEP FUCKING MOVING, HOMEY!!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!"
very nice bars =D
@gwapology got you a 0.84% @minnowbooster upvote, nice!
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Don't know where i picked it up but what helped me is to realize this: Fear is misuse of imagination. Cause who are you to know what the future looks like? Just stay focussed and rather think "I will do this easily"
We gonna get through it all :)
Cheers
Very inspirational words and advice. Will follow for more content, thanks!
Cheers!