Staying up when you can't be you. Stop complaining. Make changes.
I really don't want to go sing and dance all day for a bunch of little gremlins that are going to call me "old man!" punch me in the balls, and tell me how much they don't want to learn English today.
But. I gotta.
On the trajectory out of where you currently are, to where you want to be, there is a balance of forces. Like with rocket thrusters, one has to time things and apply the right energy at the right times to keep things stable, and the angle of escape correct, more or less.
My job now is steady, and I still require the steady (if somewhat meager) paycheck it provides. The free time is immense, compared with most other jobs. I should be grateful. I am grateful. But, the thing is, it ain't where I'm at inside, really.
Still, I gotta do it, at least for now. Should I can my steady hamster wheel gig, and apply 100% upward thrust before gaining enough momentum, my rocket's 🚀 gonna potentially stall out, and coming crashing back down. Don't want that.
Should I just do the bare minimum (my day job) and neglect blogging, research, libertarian activism, organizing interviews and trading/saving crypto, I am gonna flatline and never go anywhere, indefinitely. Fuck that.
No sleep 'til Brooklyn.
And by "Brooklyn" I mean full-time activism and content creation. Doing that all day might mean I wouldn't have to burn the midnight oil at night so much as I am doing now, and believe me, it takes it's toll. But, what am I complaining about. THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING, AND THESE ARE MY CIRCUMSTANCES. No way around it. Midnight oil, it is.
This is my bed. I've made it. Gotta sleep in it. I made the choice inside long ago that I couldn't live the zombie li(f)e. Now, I have to work my way out of it. And I'm thankful for all the opportunities I've found to be able to, with real, hard work.
So, as I sweat, sing, dance, and herd kids today (extremely painful to do as an individualist anarchist) I will do so knowing that I am blessed to interact with these little weirdos who are, in all actuality, the world's truest anarchists. Each punch in the balls is going to make full-time creativity that much sweeter. There are, in all honesty, some good moments, too. But, it's like a famous tennis player once said (something along these lines):
"I'm good at tennis, but I don't like it. You can be good at something but not like it."
Exactly how I feel about "teaching" kids.
THURSDAY. BRING IT, BITCH! HERE WE GO!!!!!!
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
KafKa, your article has been a fresh air of breath. In somewhat sea of amateur writing and thoughts left unfinished in middle of the sentence, your article is well articulated and carried the punch that words are able to deliver!
Thank you for contributing to this platform, you know there are some of us that appreciate this kind of contribution.
Followed. Great posts and I think we all can relate to ur story. Its important not just to do what we are good at but what we love to do were our passion is :0) thx for sharing
Good for you. Keep on trucking. I'm in the same boat. I'm great at my job but don't really like doing it. For me though I just haven't figured out what I want to do when I "grow up"
Amen, brother.
We all have to work trough it if we don't want to be "zombies". This is the life we choose to have a better future for ourselves :)
Hang in there!
You never know if one of those kids you are herding will catch a whiff of freedom from your example and turn out to be a major force for the movement.
I was a terrible student, but it was because I've always been an "individualist anarchist", as you put it. Nothing irritates me more than some unearned authority trying to lord over my life just because they finagled some kind of power. If I had a role model that understood and embraced that, maybe I could have discovered that I just love liberty much sooner. Perhaps you can be that influence for someone else until you cut loose of the day job!
You just picked up another follower! :-)
Cheers, @plissken. I appreciate that.
Nice, Nice! Bring on the blogging and research. Keep the hustle going ;)
i missed this from previous posts but what job is this for the kids?
I teach English at kindergartens over here in Japan.
any way to sneak in a NAP lesson? 😜 👍
Hahaha. Definitely should.
I am in the same boat man. I want out of my job. I got two brothers living in other parts of the country I rarely see, and I feel like my job is the main reason for that.
It's a bummer, right? Godspeed bro, wishing you the escape velocity as well.
So that's how teachers feel... at least you know what you have to do. :)
Teaching is a good job. Teaching kids is an because it is not an easy job. Nevertheless, you have time to do other things.
Not nearly enough! If I was involved in a free school such as Summerhill in England it might be more tolerable! ;)