Being a mother is not easy!
Mother's Day, some mothers in front of us, some mothers in the distance, some mothers in the dream ... Wherever your mother is, please put her in your heart.
Mother's Day is still coming year by year, but it seems that more and more women are reluctant to be mothers.
Your first home is your mother's womb. She loves you, so with ten months of light, up the sky to exchange a healthy you. In order to wait for your arrival, mother in the cold and heat carefully. You cry to the ground, that bear the pain of you smile, is the mother.
Postpartum infections (including uterine, bladder or kidney infections), excessive bleeding after childbirth, pubic pain (between the vagina and rectum), vaginal secretions, breast swelling, breast problems such as infections and conduit blockages, stretch marks, hemorrhoids and constipation, urine or constipation, hair loss... These are common questions about women's postpartum issues provided by webMD, a professional medical consulting website in the United States.
Mother to the most beautiful and moving years, all stay in your childhood, and then old. Half a lifetime later, when you also born Huafa early, the mother must be the only person who can remember your childlike appearance. If one morning, when you hear someone call your milk name lightly, you know, it's the mother missing you.
"About half of my more than 10,000 comments on Weibo are recorded in my own production hangovers. These folk records are consistent with WebMD statistics, or even worse. In the story of more than 10,000 maternal oral stories, those who have no one told you in the peter article, found that the post-natal problems actually everyone has, but few people talk about publicly, because people will assume that all women should become a good running and unapologetic fertility machine, once the machine is faulty, this is a kind of industry barrier, this is 'done things' to find themselves, and this dysfunctional machine should not be eligible to speak publicly, should be quietly repaired. "
If you are a high-flying kite, the mother's eyes are that thin line, you care but never bound. You fly forward without hesitation, she will always stand behind you, happy your joy, sad ness of your sorrow. However, the outside world is too wonderful, behind the mother, you do not often think of, just occasionally look back.
The end of pregnancy ends with the pain of childbirth. In the Korean novel "82-year-old Kim Zhiying", Kim Chi-ying in the production of the body as if experienced a typhoon or earthquake ravaged. "From the last section of the spine began to feel the pain, the pain cycle is getting shorter and shorter", in the blink of an eye she had grasped the corner of the pillow, hissing. The pain continued, even if the painless needle, can only be exchanged for two and a half hours of short calm, after the painless needle lost its effectiveness, the pain again hit more than before, Jin Zhiying pain is not want to live.
After the child is born, the mother's body opens up new tools. Many novice mothers have dubbed themselves "cows", as Rachel Kasker, author of "Being a Mother: Confessions of a Knowledgeable Woman", puts it, and from the moment she was first introduced in the delivery room, her breasts were more than just her personal possessions, she became a pacifier in the baby's mouth, which could be displayed and observed at any moment, any time. "I don't care about myself, " she said. I have no subjectivity. "
Why do pregnant women lack autonomy? Why do women who raise children lose their subjectivity? Why do people assume that all women should be well-functioning fertility machines? Lin Xiaoshan points out that this is because the motherhood system constructed by the patriarchal society is not actually mother-centered, but child-centered. Having children is often seen as a top priority in a woman's life, and after becoming a mother, women face new recognition as mothers on the one hand, and must set aside their needs for the sake of their children.
Jin Zhiying, who gave birth to a child, found that parenting life is so painful - as long as no one hugs the baby cry non-stop, she wants to hold the child to do housework, go to the toilet, hold the child to make up. She breast-feeds every two hours, so there's no way to sleep well for more than two hours. Even so, she had to clean the house, cleaning her children's clothes and handkerchiefs one after another. Kim thought that her mother and relatives and friends who had already had children had never told her what real parenting life was like. There will only be cute babies in the movie, and mothers will only say that having children is a great thing. She really doesn't like to hear people say that mother is great or great, once hanging up that title, it seems that women should nilthely cry.
A good mother should first be a caregiver and devote a great deal of time, money, energy, emotion and labor to focus on raising her children. This is the concept of intensive motherhood introduced by sociologist Sharon Hays in the 1990s. As we see today, the importance of motherhood in parenting seems self-evident, and if we dig deep into history, it is not difficult to find that this view is in fact a recent product. Since civilization created enough space for maternal love, this ideal has become a moral requirement.
The concept of maternal love is also the result of the modernization process. Before the 18th century, children were expected to be precocious than they were to consider their needs, when child mortality rates were so high that most people ignored a dead child. Children need love, care and compassion is a modern view, and parents love their children in a way that is completely different from today's small families. Although the situation in China is different, but the practice of intensive motherhood is not until late to get more recognition. In the past, under the framework of socialist countries, workers only had to leave their children in nursing homes. The market-oriented transformation starts with the re-creation of the family, the reform of the enterprise system and the construction of the public/private field synchronization, which is also our familiar and personal experience of the "family private."
Today, although some women get rid of the burden of physical care through "surrogate mother" or "team mother" parenting strategy, mothers still need to be highly involved in education and constantly compare their maternal practices with the ideal image of mothers in media discourse, expert parenting information, and so on.
You have to go after the dream, the mother clearly want to retain but see you. The platform was long and she would burst into tears after the train whistled. Mother has no poetry and far away, from then on, you are her faraway, she is also your distant. Years later, you will understand that her eyes are your way home.
People praise mothers, give symbolic value to "love" and "motherhood" and put them on the altar, in fact, it is an ideological mechanism that has long squeezed women's labour. In "Patriarchy and Capitalism", the University of Tokyo emeritus professor and sociologist Yukio Ueno believes that "love" is to let women mobilize their own energy, the purpose of their husbands as their own purposes; How inexpensive it is to share responsibility for child-rearing and improve the living environment of a mother.
In any case, whitewashed and covered up, it is true that a wife has endured the pain of lowering her standard of living and giving her children priority over the "dedication" she needs to be self-inflicted during her child-rearing.
One day, the mother will be very old, very old, old into a leaf, floating into the dream. At that time, if miss, can only sleep in the moonlight into the dream, the dream has a winding river, the mother lives on the other side of the river. A dream wakes up and sees the white moonlight.
We must not forget, the most precious mother, is in front of us. Mother looked at you will be aromatic lilies in the window sill, but she does not know the future, only smile at you. This life is the only life, no matter where your mother is, please put down the great things for a moment, to her: Mom, I love you!