My Trip to the Moon

I always wanted to go somewhere exotic. After spending minutes on booty hooty dot com. I came up with an amazing idea! I'll go to Mars! I pulled out my calculator. The battery was dead. Fuck! So I asked my neighbor who was busy burning tires. He said it would take 6 months. That's too long!

A few days later I hijacked a, Virgin Galactic Ship. Don't ask how. My plan was simple. I'll figure it out when I get there. No one told me about the g-forces! I almost hurled! Once in space I knocked into a satellite. There's so many of them out here! Before I could plot my course the gravity disappeared. My Jolt Cola floated into my face. Ha! I had the cap on. Disaster averted!

3 hours later I see the Moon. I decided to travel there. Good thing I brought 2 weeks of air, and plenty of Ramen Noodles. My trip was pretty dull. The government sent me a radio message. They wanted me to return, sounded angry. I told them I was on vacation! Ah shit! I forgot to bring razor blades.

My ship started the landing process. By that I mean it crashed into the side of a crater. Alright! Time to get some sun! Good thing I landed on the light side.