Comedian Joe Rogan Discovers he is Pregnant with Kittens
Sports commentator/podcast host Joe Rogan has happily announced that he is expected to become the father to a litter of kittens in a few short week's time. The tattooed comic revealed in his podcast last Thursday that although he doesn't recall the specific incident that lead to the pregnancy, it was likely caused by dubious pills he had been taking during his habit of excessive partying. Allegedly he went to doctors after noticing he was spending an unusual amount of time bathing himself and falling asleep in sunny patches on the floor, as well as what seemed to be fur growing on his tail. Initially doctors were confused by Joe's condition, until a veterinarian who happened to be visiting the people-hospital spied Joe in the waiting room and recognised his condition.
"I was just returning seasons 1-7 of the X-Files that I had borrowed from a friend of mine who worked at the hospital, but then I saw this large tattoo covered male in the waiting room and couldn't help but feel like I knew what his problem was. Against my better judgement I went up to him and asked if the doctors were having difficulty identifying his issue. When he started purring and rubbing against my legs I knew my suspicions were correct."
Doctors soon proved the theory, after a series of x-rays revealed the martial arts expert to be carrying 8 seemingly healthy kittens. Since there are currently no standing laws in the US regarding the terminating of non-human pregnancy in human hosts, Joe was presented with the option of abortion but decided to keep the litter, having a big stretch before slinking back home. He announced the findings publically on his podcast and has been met with an overwhelmingly positive reaction to the happy news.
-IBS News
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