Save me now!

She's in public; she expresses a stiff upper lip while conversing with people. She purges inside but no one ever understands her plight; after all, she is a role model everyone sees to be perfect.

She has been inebriated all night just to have something to blame for her misconduct. The liquor didn't seem to do anything these days, even the painkillers became numb in her system.

A cry for help wasn't the best idea because every blog seems to be looking for a spectacular headline. The name of a queen going to rehab wasn't the best story she needed for her identity. It was only going to make her lose her career and her life.

She felt she was losing her mind with the dual personalities she had to keep up with or was she out of her mind because she perfected two different personalities? One vulnerable and suicidal, the other ambitious and confident. The first always stayed within and the other didn't seem to want to give in to her weakness. She knew the battle wouldn't last for long because the drugs and liquor medicated one personality asserting its dominance.

The world hears when she speaks, but they do not listen to her screaming and crying for help. They enjoy her pain at the detriment of her smile but no one knows. She has perfected the craft of faking an identity flawlessly of supposed perfection that the true image of herself is scared to come out, but, it cuts her deep within. She's in pain, she screams in her thoughts but the world can't listen because it's not as beautiful as the face.

She cries out to her journal sometimes but it takes all her thoughts and throws them back at her face making her realize how pathetic they are. She can't speak a sentence without processing the words to ensure the truth doesn't spill. She has kept up this lifestyle for far too long she thought.

While she swirls her glass, all thoughts flow freely in her mind but she seals the crack to avoid a spill. She laughs at her thoughts, calling her mouth a crack; it was the only thing separating her multiple personalities from mixing or confusing people.

She conversed with few people who didn't hide their admiration for her and the others around couldn't help but stare at her all night. She was puzzled within how anyone could adore such fiction, no one was perfect, not even her. How could everyone not see the truth behind her script?

It was one of her usual public appearances but she couldn't take it anymore. The stare made her feel like she was a god; this was what she wanted earlier but over time, she wasn't so sure, and that that night, she wasn't having it. She stormed out of the party and decided to end it all. She tried speaking with anyone she could encounter, but all they could do was gawk at her. She was done. She couldn't just fall short of people's expectations, neither could she live in such pain.

She was in her hotel room finally, alone with her thoughts. She was lonely and all she could hear were voices that made her feel she fell short of all she ought to be. She always carried pills because she knew sooner or later, it was going to end. Sophia Alfred was going to end this way, her identity, struggle all gone. She popped the pill and waited to give up the ghost.

Moments later, the pain started, the fear gripped her. What has she done? The pain became more than she could handle and the voices that talked her into it fled. For the first time in years, she prayed for the life she wanted to lose and hoped for a second chance. Death wasn't freedom, she never thought of life after death.

Her manager walked in, rambling about her schedule for the next day, oblivious of his surrounding. He talked for several minutes as usual, before she ever was given a chance to speak. He was used to her hums after he talked for a while, but he heard nothing and decided to look. He saw Sophia, she was gone. He tried to feel her pulse, but it felt like his hands on her wrist obliterated anything he could have felt. Sophia was a god to others but this was one person that always put her in her place. She loved his guts but the problem was, he never listens.

Every member of her team crowded the hospital. Some prayed for their means to livelihood to live while others wanted her alive for selfish reasons. Sophia was fighting for life for the first time ever, it wasn't her identity this time, it was just life to take in the free gift of air. She fought for so long and finally gave up the ghost.