Back in the Desert...kinda

Last week, I submitted my retirement packet. What does that mean you ask? It is simple. After more that 23 years in the U.S. Army I am going to be a civilian. But right now I am sitting in the desert again. Thankfully not the too dangerous one.

I am currently in southern California at the National Training Center. Since being here and stationed in far west Texas I have realized, I do not do well in this type of environment. PTSD is a pain in the ass.

My PTSD is not bad comparably. Many people see the news and hear about a veteran or soldier who goes off the deep end and harms other and the first thing that is mentioned is his deployment history and how he was being treated for PTSD. My case just makes me very uneasy and uncomfortable in some situations. I don't like crowds anymore, I can't stand being hot, dusty air is a trigger, and loud noises scare the hell out of me. So, being at a huge training exercise in the desert is not the best place for me.

The only light at the end of the tunnel is this will be my last time. I have loved my life in the Army and it has suited my family very well. We have been able to travel the world and lived in placed that many only dream of visiting. We have decided to go to Paris for the day and only had to drive a couple of hours. We found a restaurant in Prague that became a great place for lunch and not that far away. We have walked trails that Buddhist monks formed hundreds of years ago. This life has been good, but the bad times are making it hard to continue.

I'm not bitter, or mad, or even sad, I am only looking at this as my next adventure. We plan on moving to an area that we both like and has very few of the triggers that cause me problems.

For right now I am back in the desert and I will deal with any problems that arise. My coworkers know what I am dealing with, many of them deal with similar issues, so I have people to help me though things and keep me sane. And I have a way to vent to the world without putting to much of myself out there, so thanks for taking the time to read this little rant.