Magnifying my unheard struggles
There will be some days that you’ll see sunshine radiating within your veins, making your heart glow with so much warmth that you will start to marvel at the rare occasions of bliss. And people would start envying the radiance you are making in every step that you take.
But the sunshine starts to get weary day by day. Slowly, you’ll see the sun shining above you, hitting your skin, but never seeping through your veins. The weariness will start inhibiting the sunshine from moving into your coronary muscles by blocking the channels toward your heart preventing every contraction that distributes the remaining sunshine into your vascular system. Like oxygen running out, you start to suffocate. So the need to find an escape haunts you, you start moving every remaining strength that you have and start pouring your thoughts into writing, wringing every brain cell just to figure out what the hell is going on with you. And people will start appreciating you for the far-fetched thoughts you have poured in to their sheets.
Some days, you’ll find yourself crying, never understanding how the melancholy has crept its way into your system, and never understanding why you are crying in the first place. Your thoughts start to betray you, leaving you with nothing but scribbles and incomprehensible inscriptions floating around and running out too fast. So you start pouring your emotions, hoping to escape the feeling of sadness out of your system; hoping that once you write down your emotions, the sadness will go along with it. But it hurts more than it helps. And people will start applauding you for the soulful piece you’ve come up with.
On the worst days, you will never understand the chaos inside your mind. You’ll start losing all your shit and your energy. You’ll find comfort in isolation, you’ll start losing your interest in everything that once brightened up your day, you’ll find it very difficult to concentrate even on the simplest things, you’ll become a threat to yourself, and you just can’t connect your thoughts and emotions into verses. And people will love you for the amount of abstraction you have dispensed into their artless souls.
You see, some days it's hard. Most days it’s harder. And no one ever knows.
Hi @brewingstories! I can somehow relate with your post. There are really days when we feel like we're our best selves but then the feeling slowly fades away. But in this world full of chaos, sadness and uncertainty,there's always something (or someone) to hold on to. You have described the emotions carved in my heart and I thank you for that. ❤
It's really good to think that there will always those who will help you brighten up your day. It really makes you feel not alone.
It's difficult to drop my usual lengthy comments on your piece because of the proxemity we share daily. Haha magkita kaha ta taga adlaw. Like taga adlaw jud tawn HAHAHA. But the best thing about Steemit is that I get to verbalize my thoughts without the toxicity that comes with it.
The platform was very therapeutic for me in the first days that i was here. I had my share of insights, broken spirits turned into words and my thoughts spilled out in the platform. The best part about it was that I was capitalizing on my thoughts haha. I mean nalingaw ko sa idea na I get rewarded in monetary form for sharing my sorrows simply because my tragedies were turned into art. I hope it's going to be the same for you.
I can sense that these thoughts are really from the heart and it really speaks of something. I believe that these are real struggles but I think the frst step to healing is accpeting that they exist. Mao nay nakat.unan nako sa psychia haha.
Sensya na sa kataas haha. These are simply thoughts at the back of my mind. I surely do not talk like this in our daily routine kay giatay ka awkward kaha haha but its nice to get it out of my system. The platform has taught me to value postive remarks and to use your appreciation to propel others which is what I would like to do around here. Padayon lang diha mau haha. Havent read your tumblr blog pero I can already foresee the caliber of work you put into your work.
I hope you find solace here as I did and reach out to people when you need help. The feelings during your struggles will always valid. Hooray keep it up hahaha
Always thankful for good friends like you Aaron. Salamat bai