Yesterday's Comfort is Quite Alright

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They say that dwelling on the past is not healthy. People say "move on" or "move forward ". Are those clichés true? Do they actually work? I suppose it is up to each individual person. We are responsible for our own selves and how we tick.

Frustration and its many reasons can be a double edged athame. One can channel it for good and one may channel it for bad. Frustrating events in our daily life can lead us to jump and go, or stay paralyzed in it. Is there a middle ground? Does one always have to choose? Maybe so. Yesterday's memories can serve as comfort as well as an open window for consistent pain and hollow. I find myself on the edge of that seat every moment of every day. Does it prove exhausting? Oh yes it does. Is having past memories stay with you today enriching or harming? 

Well as much as it may pain certain people in my life, I will always find it enriching. I may not have the power to go back in time, but I refuse to allow it to ruin me. Happy memories cannot harm me, but sadly I must keep it to myself. Quite sad if one looks at the entire picture, frame and all. It can only hurt me if I allow it to. 

Remembering and embracing those cherish times with my two late husbands is invaluable to me.  My only regret is that I was not able to give them a child. Their siblings would be the ones to do that. One cannot fight a medical diagnosis, so alas I have no children.

In my own experiences with people, places and things seem to alter me slightly more everyday.  Oh it's not all their fault, for it's fifty percent my fault for allowing negative things to happen. When they do I look for the comfort of my memories with my first two husbands.

I had young and short marriages. I cannot stop death when he comes knocking, and he sure did. They were by no means perfect but I was extremely happy. I felt that gratitude swelling my heart every day and every time I looked at them. Two very different men yet they branded my heart forever. I will always be grateful for that. 

Dreams do not always come true. We cannot will our lives to be in our control. I am alright with that. Why? It is very simple. Simple gratitude that I had great love and like in my life. Not only did I love two fantastic men who took such tremendous care of my heart, yet I also liked them too. They were my best friends and confidants. I am blessed. 

Besides my two Richards, I was also blessed with a tremendousmy wonderful father. All my men. It was unfortunate that my father passed away before meeting them, for he would have been proud. I will forever be proud for him.

So in the crux of reality life and people are not always fair. Narcissism is here and those people have no qualms about being condescending towards good people. How can a genuine good hearted person stand it? It is very difficult I will admit. So h can I best handle it? I use a tool called filtration. It's like getting lead out of water, I filter out people w those characte traits. I close my eyes and remember my good fortune that I had beauty and love. Maybe they are lacking it. Who knows, but I sure don't want to find out.

I have stopped listening to people tell me to let them go. I will never do that. What I will do is make sure that each memory is treasured and respected. For bad times are a sure thing so whatever you can grab onto for an emotional hug, well I say "do it"! Don't stifle the love and joy that is in your heart. No one knows how you feel but you. 

Never let anyone dictate where your heart should go. Only you have that answer. I only know that I reach out to them all every day. I talk to them every day and I find my peace every day.

You cannot put a price tag on that.

Keep your happy memories alive and let them hug you in times of peril. I know the difference between dwelling and being stuck or gratitude and walking forward.

See there really is comfort from yesterday.

They walk with me and I am happier for it.