Can anybody relate to this

I am having a few hard years

I supposed to life with my partner for 34 years !

1994 we moved from Europe to Latin America

We kept pretty much to our self, besides a few new friends
incl. some very nice local neighbors

Than it happened

My wife past away age 52
she was an alcoholic and smoker and we had have a hard time after she was
diagnosed 10 years earlier with cancer in her uterus.

Drinking became a bigger problem and she also became partially insane
but I think this was because of the alcohol.

One day we where baking Christmas cookies at Dec. 24 and the day after she started vomiting
and got constipated. When it became obvious this needs to be taken care she was admitted to a hospital

6 days later she died in intensive care.

So suddenly I was alone, did not know how to cook, had 8 pets to take care about and was in a state of disbelieve.

I became like a caveman did not like to talk with nobody

And than social media became a gateway, but in a bad way, I became very hostile and aggressive

I do not drink for more than 35 years nor do I smoke for more than 10 years.

I take care about my bets and they became my life, did not like to see nor be close to
women anymore, i do have my reason for this, which i dont like to disclose
perhaps some would be offended.

I try to be more positive in a negative world

What happens in the world is so discouraging it makes me even more sad, or furious
i avoid to watch the news out of fear i get
more depressive as I have been and slowly make it out of the deep deep valley I feel i was in.

I love my pets they are my pillar but slowly I lose them thru age as well.

Just want to know, if anybody can relate to this, perhaps i can learn from one or an other thing.

Thanks for reading my story
perhaps i will write more about how I cope living 8,000 miles from my homeland with my pets
after losing my love one for 34 years.

Have a good day