Love is for two people, but family is for N people
In the world of love, many men often misunderstand that marriage means marrying a woman, while neglecting the pursuit of marrying a woman and the background behind the woman.
In the world of love, many women misunderstand that marriage means marrying a man, not knowing the habit and character of marrying the man, and the family behind the man.
Some people concluded that marriage has three levels:
The first level is to marry a loved one; the second level is to marry a loved one and his (her) habits; the third level is to marry a loved one And his (her) habits and his (her) background to get married.
Couples in the first state have a relatively stable marriage; couples in the second state have a relatively stable marriage; couples in the third state have an absolutely stable marriage.
The dual structure of love, the multiple structure of marriage
Love is a game played by two people, but marriage is a business involving multiple people. In many cases, marriage is regarded as a business that needs to be managed, which may be closer to the essence of marriage. When the feelings of two people are wrapped in marriage, people are often conscious, but also blind. Consciously because they think that the maturity of feelings can be fixed by marriage; blindly because when they think that marriage is the maturity stage of feelings, marriage does not shy away from appearing in front of them in other ways. If the process is not clear, such blindness will last a lifetime. Therefore, the spouses in a marriage should live together closer to the original face of the marriage. Although this life is plain, it is also solid and secure.
If you regard love and marriage as two equations respectively, love must be a linear equation of two variables. Marx talked about the specificity and exclusivity of love many times in his famous works. This means that marriage is not only for two people, but it also naturally exhibits exclusive factors in its nature. It is precisely because love has such exclusive factors that love is noble. Just talking about love, it is like the interweaving of two pure souls. It seems that at some point, its existence can be completely in a way that two people have no direct contact, such as unrequited love and secret love. The mystery of love is precisely because it evokes the natural response of human consciousness. Therefore, before the mystery of human beings is revealed, the mystery of love will always exist.
Many men mistakenly think that marriage means marrying a woman, and ignore that what they marry is actually the woman’s own pursuit, as well as her story and background; similarly, many women mistakenly think that marriage means marrying a man, but in fact she is married to A man's character and habits, background and family. In social life, marriage exists in the following forms:
The first form is to marry the one you love. If it is such a combination, the marriage relationship is stable and happy. It can be regarded as the highest state of marriage, and it can be called a "perfect" or "simple" marriage.
The second form is the combination of choice and his habits, including advantages and more disadvantages. This kind of marriage is relatively stable and the quality is better, but compared to the first form, it is slightly inferior and can be called a "habitual" marriage.
The third form is to marry the one you love and his family. Most people choose this way. This kind of union has a lower divorce rate, because its union is first of all secular, and of course it is also social. Although it is not as simple and romantic as the first form of simplicity and romance, it is closer to the true face of marriage, which can be called "Practical" marriages.
With the combination of the above three kinds of marriages, we can easily see that the combination of marriage is gradually changing from unity to pluralism. A series of social relationships in marriage, which are commonly referred to as "in-laws" relationships, are complicated, and only when they are clearly understood and handled properly can marriage be as beautiful, romantic, and great as love.