Marriage;a blessing or a curse

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A conversation with a friend prompted me to write this article.

Is Marriage a blessing or a curse?
Firstly
What is marriage?

Marriage also know as Holy matrimony which is an everlasting union between two people (a man and a woman).

Marriage can be monogamy(marrying one wife;the best) and polygamy (marrying more than one wife) and many more types

Every marriage has it good and bad side.

Marriage is a blessing;it has endurance,maturity,dialogue,respect,love,and understanding. Problems are addressed in this manners.

In a blessed marriage;children doesn't really matter in their happiness,they celebrate their matrimony but still wait on the lord happily.

A blessed marriage is like a duet, singing together.
Partners who understands each other often have marital happiness.

I remember in my neighborhood,my best friend's mother was in serious labour,they were two girls but this time the mum was pregnant with a boy,the father was to choose between his wife and the child(boy),everyone thought he would choose the Child cause he was seriously searching for a male child but his response surprised us I didn't marry my wife cause of a child, let the baby die,I need my wife,without her am nothing.

A woman worries about marriage more than a man, permit me to say but a woman holds the key to a happy home(marriage).

Many people don't know the difference between marriage and wedding.

Many fantasize wedding not marriage

Difference between marriage and wedding

Marriage is the uniting of two people to become one,it is a commitment you enter into,telling the other person you will love and honour till death do you part.

Wedding is a day event,its the joining of two people to become one but after that day it's not gonna happen again, its some thing that happens once in a life time.

Its not all about wearing a white gown.

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My friend's view about mariage,i can only show little details though.
I told her as a young girl your number one priority shouldn't be marriage but making money. If you cannot feed yourself or be independent,a man would use and disrespect you.
Men loves independent women and forget it they love hard to get,a challenging independent woman that would motivate them.
Any man who isn't ready to support your dreams either by motivating you or loaning you some money,my dear abandon him,he's not the right guy. if he consistently tell you,you are lazy jokingly,away. Never let a man insult you even as a joke.

note
Its not all about saying vows but sticking to it,its not all about having a man by your side saying his my hubby or being in a relationship, it not just about being married.

Its about keeping your commitments and promises.
its about feeling secured and sleeping peacefully at night without having the fear of losing what you've got.

Most people marry right and some marry wrong.
People who marry right knows what they are going into and are fully prepared for it and see it in the positive way.

While those who marry wrongly; are those who see it as a child's play. That's why they rush in and rush out and see it from the negative aspect a little argument they seek for a divorce.

Marriage is one thing that joins two people together both spiritually and physically.

Its all about understanding,being appreciated and respected.
Being loved to the core.

Most people marry by appearance;he must be tall,dark,handsome,have beards,has pink lipsetc.
she must be figure 8,must have nice set of teeth,have sexy voice

Am not saying you shouldn't know what you want,appearance matters but character matters most.
Just give appearance time you will see.
When the standing boobs begin to sag
You will be seeing breast not boobs lol
He/she might loose his/her beauty,legs,shape(appearance,but cannot loose his character).

My mum would say appearance brings a man but character or manners keeps him cause when you have a reason you love someone(cause of her cute eyes)one day you might look and its not there and the love decrease.
No matter what,good manner matters.

Let your partner or spouse be the one you comfortable with,one you can turn to for help or advice. One that stand by you or safe you from danger.
One who is there to help,support,lift or assist you
One who counsels you,who encourage and care for you
One that covers your nakedness,flaws,shame,who make you and not mar u
One who brings out the best in you no matter what,makes you smile,joyful even in enduring situations

While growing up have always wanted to get wedded cause I saw weddings in a fairy tale manner,it all started when I was made a little bride and given a groom to hold.
I always wanted to put on a white dress,be a little bride,my yearning for husband increased daily,but growing up,as a young lady,i only love weddings but when it came to marriage,i will run away,it wasn't funny cause any suitor that came my way and seek marriage,i will run.
I had this mindset that marriage is a prison and it makes you a prisoner cause of the marriages i saw as i grew up.
I even told my mum i wanted to be a single mother,to be independent but she would scold me always and lament,so to me i saidi will bear his name and children but not be fully committed to him but now the mindset has changed cause its not my priority everything has its time in life,never rush it.

Courtesy google

My friends would always want to play daddy and mummy,from then I knew marriage was deep.

Note
Any man or woman who insults and calls his/her spouse a goat is automatically a goat.
If you call your wife a goat;you are a he-goat cause you both are one now.

Keys to a good marriage
Respect
If you don't respect your spouse;you are single not married.

Don't have a copy and paste mindset
I dunno why people think the marriage of a celebrity is successful cause almost everything they do is perfect,simply because you see them smiling in their movies or songs doesn't means its working right,they also suffer but to them their reputation matters.

You want to get married because your role model is married,why don't you ask her how she manage her marriage and overcome the temptations.

Every marriage comes with it's own blessing or curse
Marriage don't work organically;it has to be watered or fed to work effectively.
Think twice,marry right

Be complete or whole
You have to be whole cause you don't need someone to compete with you,most marriages are in a competition,most couples do not want their spouse to be above them.
As a couole you shoukd work hand in hand,if your wife succeed,you succeed vise versa.

A beautiful singer Sinach, after being interviewed said she wasn't looking for a husband before she got married, she was already complete or whole.

If you know marriage will be an hindrance to your success or achieving your dreams be single for a while
You can also read this article
https://steemit.com/life/@emem/the-gift-of-singleness

Some women marry and become dependent on their husband.

Never agree to be dependent
Some choose to be a full time house wife.
My advice to ladies never accept to be a full time house wife even if he accepts to manage the house.

I remember two of my aunts,both of them were very independent before married,one was a banker while the other worked in ministry of defence

Their husband told them both to be full time house wife,Uyai rejected the offer even when the husband offered to pay her monthly.
Lilian accepted the offer.

2 Years later
Their husbands lost their jobs.
Lilian's house was ruined cause there was no source of income,she now sells akara to feed her family
Whilst Uyai who rejected it has now built her husband a house,bought a car,pays her kids fees,care for her entire household

Am not saying you should not be submissive to your husband oh but be submissive to an extent,be smart,secure your future,nothing(material things)last long.

Be independent
Marriage is not a prison,if you are uneducated;go back to school, learn a trade,explore your talents,travel,be free.
Some people get married and look like their husband's mother even their husband's mum looks way younger than them,they don't make up, don't dress, open their burst anyhow to breast feed,become dirty self,becomes extremely fat,no work out..chai!!!. Its so annoying how some women turn out after marriage.

I asked my male friend who is married why he still follows young girls.
He said because "when ever he looks at his wife,he doesn't see what he saw before he married her instead he sees an old hag"

Don't be a nag
Both sex hare nags,never be a nagging wife or husband.
When he looks out, you complain,you curse your mother in law for bringing a cheat to the world,instead of killing yourself over a man,handle the situation maturely,it might not be easy but try,pray,seek advice,read books. Be humble. Two wrongs cannot make a right

Be smart
Dress sexy for your man,cook him delicious meal,take him out,buy him gifts.
Men buy her gifts,take her out,cook for her,chyke her again.
What do you think brought the man to you; imagine you were like that do you think he would even marry you talk more of approaching.

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