So glad to hear that!! Any kind of structure and pressure to perform can shut me down, too. ;)
I read some of this out loud to my daughter and she loves the discarded woman, shaken and beaten like a rug. And how for 38 years she woke up with the curtains pulled because he preferred to wake up in a dark room. One morning she didn't pull the shades, and she wakes up in a sunny room, and that day she decides to get up and move on with her life. Maybe even get a dog! (He is allergic to dogs.) My daughter asked "Is there any dialogue?" and I thought yes, with Deirdre and Michael in particular, and that dialogue just sparkles. I also had the thought that more dialogue would be good, but this is a FIRST DRAFT, and the story is unfolding, surprising you as much as anyone, I'll bet. Panststers vs plotters. Keep writing. Later on, come back and work on dialogue and building a scene vs summarizing it. What you're doing is fine! Get the magic flowing, and LATER, tackle the manuscript with an editorial eye. (And, if only I practiced what I preach!)