THE SECRET ANGUISH

My life has always been filled with to-do's , actions, plans and accomplishments. I have always had a long list of friends who are more loyal to me than I bargained. I always enjoyed outings, get togethers, meetings (all kinds even it were a blind date). I felt I had my life fully in control. For me, tomorrow will always be an opportunity for more adventures.
In midst of these, I began to feel lonely. I needed something (or would I say someone) weighter all around me.

I needed a true friend..at least one who would complement me. I dont think I was wrong, but I needed to see life differently.
It all happened (when I say it, I mean my secret wishes, needs) when I meet him. He is so calm, calculated and not spontenous. I always wondered how Emmy could enjoy all the routines in his life. It was as if he had his life all planned out and experienced no suprises whatsoever has things unfolded. This to me was new, nice and I could say sweet. I think I was attracted to him.

No, I have fallen inlove with him. With him, my life made meaning. I now saw things differently. I feel complete , at peace and of course not lonely. I wondered how we were so different yet attracted to each other. I think the difference in personality made the difference indeed. We were what others would call the perfect couple.
Emmy who is now my husband had always been so sweet, the routine kind of dude . Everything began to change when Emmy lost his job. For me, it should have just been a swift shift. One job to another, one passion to another. But for Emmy, one could say he had lost all hope, passion and enthausiasm. At first I worried then complained, later felt irritated and now I am anguished.

The perfect couple dont seem to know themselves anymore. Reality has dawned on us.