Face the blank

Blank face vacant eyes yet i feel life inside
I feel a heart beating thump, thump, thump rhythmic like the tide
And some beats like the tide seems to wrench me off my feet to become lost at sea
Yet as the oceans toss me too and frow the face remains as the fight dies in me.
"Why dont you write poems about me " was her question
Because to write i have to feel lost and devoid of all affection.
Im in that place as contrary to what you must believe....i can read
And the words that combined making sentences that i now wish i didnt see.
But you won't know this as at this very moment 8:26 pm 3/10/18 your out doing god knows what with a side of drinking.
Ill sit here watching your daughters my stepchildren, and keep it all in my head, my greatest of tallents walking through life as if im sleeping.
You know whats fucked up, that despite this i can't leave those little ones at this time until your on your feet.
Its moments like these that make me wanna drown sorrow with drink.
But allas i gave that poison up for you.
So writing becomes therapy as its what i need to do
Rant over life will continue.