The Stars

She talked to them. She talked to the stars pretending they were you. At that moment, he was envisioned in her mind and everything, she did spill out. From past memories to the trivial fights they had. She shared them all to the stars and to anyone who happened to be listening as they passed by.

She remembered him always telling her to talk to the stars and she finally did. When she could really see them, she saw his face in them and she cried. It was a long talk that was overdue. Did he see her? She yold him she loves him and how much she had missed him. Did he hear her?

But she forgot to say 'see you again' as she remembered him telling her never to say 'goodbye'. Goodbyes he had explained to be a sense of finality, meaning that you'll never see that person again. Here she is wondering, and again she wonders, did he know that they'll never speak again? What makes her wonder more is that, he never said goodbye to her.

She had only heard his usual we would see each other again but she never did see him again. At least, not the him that she was used to. It was someone else in his place woth his face and voice but it wasn't him yet he was the one.

For a long time she had to struggle, just so she could find that identity of his that she was used to and had fallen so hard for. But she never did. She thinks he got lost. He had disappeared somehow, in the time they had stopped talking. And here she sat, with a tear stricken face wondering whether he got lost on purpose or not. It's a question that requires one of his answers that she never understood when he spoke the words to her but late at night, his words ring in her mind and she understands.

The song she has on repeat right now, reminds her strongly of him. He had taught her to listen more carefully and to bethink about the context of lyrics. Some of the lyrics seemed to apply to her fate now and that saddens her. He taught her so much. He taught her to love, feel and when he was gone, she lost that. She beacame numb, pessimistic ans somebody completely different for when he left, he went with a part of her and the other part died in his wake. She may or may not like him back. She just wants to be able to feel what she felt with him with someone else.

They say that, absence makes the heart grow fonder sinply because, we take what we have now for granted. Always assumed that, we would have them surrounding us all the time. And the very second tbey are gone, we feel vulnerable but guess what? It doesn't just happens, we pay the price for it and gets something in return for paying our retribution. Then everything becomes a lesson which we learn and try to move on yet still, we move on not as who we are but we live woth fear, doubt, and test whoever comes our way to see how far we can push them. To analyze how loyal they really areand eventually we become manipulative. Having friends even become like a time ticking bomb to us waiting for everything to blow up boom! and for the people we have now to leave thus losing the close connections we had built previously a while ago. Memories become distant, something that we experience over and over but still fail to come to terms with the pain that accompanies it.

Ah well, in her case l, she can't just recreate that special feeling so she creates different versions for false sense of security. She learns every time and he continues to teach her through music and the stars. She now talks to the stars more because she sees him and so talks as animatedly as possible. When she has nothing to say,then she points out the constellations that she can vaguely put together.