GENERATE WELFARE TO YOUR PARTNER? Resilience, transforming weapon, final part.

renacerengestalt (34)in #love • 7 years ago

To my followers of Bienestar, I tell them that to close this issue that concerns us all about Resilience, transforming weapon, to improve our quality of life, I invite you to reserve quality time with your partner, a time of kind moments , shared in a satisfactory manner for both; a fundamental feature of couples that work is that they share all the time they can have fun and relax together, does it mean that they have no problems? No, no, it means that despite their problems they know that to build and maintain a relationship of united and happy couple these moments are "sacred"; so the invitation is to build them, well, you will tell me, but how do we do in a situation like we currently have in Venezuela ?, I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about details, I'm talking about sacred moments, you can build, you invite your partner to surprise, to the unexpected, to the unnoticed, have fun and relax as a couple favors an emotional closeness, a greater intimacy, improves the happiness and well-being of both, it's not about being good to share pleasant moments but the opposite of making sure that when they are together make it a pleasant moment, dedicated to both, a romantic evening in caresses, in games, crossing provocative glances, in seduction, in being creative, let your imagination fly in fulfilling "fantasies" of both, secret and complicity of two, with "unexpected kisses that take your breath" in different parts of the body that "bristle your skin", trying to do it constantly.

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On the other hand, we often find that after a time without leaving together, we finally get that space to share, especially in these times, one of the two or both are thrown in to pose the problem or uncomfortable situation, because it is the space they have to share, and we have learned that what is shared and attended first is the problems; then there is an insidious, plaintive, annoying, heavy problem that will transform the feat of a romantic evening, into an unpleasant discussion, and leave you a mark "I never share a space, nor allow myself a romantic moment and nothing of the kind, because ups the problem is coming ". So my suggestion, is to set aside that space to talk about the situation very apart from sharing a romantic evening with your partner, it would be ideal for this sharing to be weekly, well, it is better to have a Friday for two or a weekend for two. , that if, that moment you have to disconnect from technology, from others, dedication to each other and vice versa.

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That is why it is important to emphasize that quality time is a time to relax, enjoy and in the company of others, but not the opportunity to enter into reproaches, demands and problems, if they need to talk about problems or situations they can agree on a time for it, it is more is ideal apart from those moments of enjoyment in common, while we are sharing is sharing and that will lay the foundations so that when we go to address the problems or "situations" we can see it with a different look , we no longer see the conflict, but from your potentialities and mine, we must address it, then we go forward almost with the solution, with the answer, because we get all our artillery to deal with it, this situation is not the center of our lives but which is a consequence, usually, a temporality and what is definitive is the love that exists between us and that should not be tarnished.

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Now reformulates the destructive idea "we are incompatible" for the constructive idea "we are complementary", the incompatibility and that fateful is that "we have nothing in common", generates disunity, distancing, frustration, despair, discomfort, anger, sense of failure, but there are always differences between people and therefore always requires a dose of skill to find the love fit in the relationship, which is why I told you a while ago, if it is necessary for the one who is aware that there is something that allows us to solve the Situations, assume the leadership so that in the hand leads the couple to travel through these paths, that they leave us tools to approach the problems with a different perspective, although sometimes it has been experienced that both parties feed the couple relationship, it would be ideal.

The expectation of finding the perfect couple without defects and previously adapted to meet our needs, that is a chimera, as they say there, "that does not exist", the cost if you focus on the differences and you want to eradicate them you will lose the union with your couple, the complicity and the "exquisite pleasure of being good allies", on the contrary if we convert the differences into a value that brings balance and complementarity to the relationship, the results will be the adaptation of each other respecting the inevitable differences to create something shared.

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What happens in our early days? We are blind through the veil of passion, the admiration of the impression, of "there is no where to put you", what happens when that infatuation passes and we reach the next phase ?, in the first stage we do not see the obvious, what is there we hide it and we modify other things, but when we reach the next stage that is when we really begin to emerge our true characteristics, where that fog begins to fade, then it is when I end up not accepting things and I want that you are as I decide, not respecting your individuality, I forgot at that moment how it was that I met you, I knew you in a way, but since the magic happened then now I want you to be the way I decide you are so that work for me and I forget that I am 50% of a whole.

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To finish, I leave you some tips that can help you overcome the challenge of being a couple 5.0:

1.-Discuss frequently to avoid resentments and resolve conflicts.
2.- Generate agreements on what, how? and when? It will be decided at every important moment.

Express feelings openly to allow a true communion of hearts and minds.
4.- Put limits that define what will be accepted and what will not be accepted.
5.- Support each other and overcome selfishness without creating dependencies.
6.- Look for common projects that allow the couple to create a shared future.
7.- Find a balance of seeing pleasure so that there is fun and the needs are met.
8.- Create own rules so that the design of the link is according to their ways of being.

Remember that you are part of 50%, to "be a couple 5.0" you have to focus on the qualities and virtues of both yours and your partner to address the solutions, not that the solutions are the center of attention, is that we will face the situations from your abilities and mine, observing where you are good to be able from these characteristics to approach the situation and above all things not to attack it from the difficulties, from the disqualification that "for your fault", from the projection that I tell the other I put it in my, my responsibility for not accepting it, I put it in the other, beware, these are moments that are sometimes done unconsciously because it is very easy to blame the other and not take responsibility.

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To be closed, the challenge is to "generate well-being mutually," is to put in the shoes of the other, is to please and be pleased, the challenge is to observe the favorable characteristics of each of the members of the couple to address it from there from that facility , from that convenience, as you treat you will be treated, and learn that we have our differences, seeing each other as mirrors, nourishing, day by day, in short, consciously see the line that separates accepting me as I am and I am capable to adjust a little to give you well-being.

I have to invite them until my next post, to continue "feeding our Wellbeing", in which I will address the different types of unexpected kisses that take your breath away, have you ever given it, have you tried it, made it felt? we will see it soon.

May joy always accompany you, Your Wellness Promoter !!!

#health #ocd-resteem #curation #motivacion