Does it get easy - being torn ?

There are so many explanations to why we love the way we do, after a long time of reflecting I guess I know why I love the way I do. Knowing doesn't make it easier to deal with the issues that comes with it.

Growing I felt deprived of love at home and quickly took to looking for it outside,that was a difficult and dangerous task to accomplished seeing as I was a young pretty girl not in that striking beautiful way though and could have been taken advantage of by most men and young guys. The good part was I had this phobia for the opposite sex and I stayed clear from them. I came to understand I wasn't hated at home around the same time i started getting over that phobia the only problem was I had conditioned myself to having so many people around me so I could feel all the love i could get. I was a teenager then and I liked the attention I was getting considering the fact that my body was changing and I was becoming a beautiful young lady. I enjoyed the attention, I lived for it and seeing as I had felt the pain of not being love I made it my goal to love. It was easy for me until I fell in love and I found out I was an obsessive lover I concluded I wasn't the sharing type. Imagine my surprise when I realised I was in love with two different people at the same time.
I can't tell who I love more, I feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with each of them, like I need them to get through to the next day.
It will hurt either of them to know that they are not my "one and only" - I knew that but I told them anyway. It may have been selfish or not I don't want to analyse that right now, but what I have to do is to choose one or loose both cause neither of them wants to be shared. I now have to choose and it feels like each option holds a part of me, I am torn and I don't know how to sew myself back up